I should be asleep. Getting up at 5am… Working out, then off to work until 6pm…
But for some reason my favorite time of year (it is a little early still…) fall is throwing me a curve ball. My emotions felt so steadfast… Dead on… Till today, today has been a whirlwind for me. Maybe it’s that extra three day weekend. My body was tricked into some kind of re adjustment….some kind of false reset.
It takes some time for me to re-adjust lately…then when I have it’s time to switch back.
Crazy how I just sat at my desk today and felt my emotions slip out of my control. All the while I consciously thought…my emotions are careening out of control, I should do something about it. Yet, I did nothing but observe. Why? Why would I do that? Why do we do that? What was I hoping for, or looking for?
Every time I have thought of grounding today I have noticed that my heart aches. Crazy as it sounds…my heart ached. For what? Really I am asking, for what?
It feels as though there has been a loss. Am I picking up on something? Is this a foreboding feeling? Am I grieving a season gone?
To me fall is full of possibilities and excitement…my favorite time of the year. The time when everything we have worked towards,for or to create can be utilized or experienced. Does this make sense?
Most things/articles etc… Would describe fall as the end whereas spring is the beginning. I see it as the do time. The experience time, the let’s put this to practice or use time. A time of manifestation. Actually the manifestation of something that has come to fruition. Spring the ideas start… Summer we grow the idea…feed them with the inspiration and the Intention of what is to be. Think about it. Water…sun…earth…oxygen… The warmth of the sun acts as the comforted our souls and the earths souls need to become what we dream. Fall is us jumping out of the nest… Taking the leap. The weather is more tolerable…energizing not as slow and comforting. We put a sweater on to comfort and hug ourselves. In the summer we open ourselves up to the universe and look for it to feed and warm our souls.
Fall… Is what happens sometimes…we gain the courage to take a chance…and sometimes we fall.
Regardless of my mood today… I think I realized that the transition of the seasons may be the hardest. It is at this point that we see the changes that we must make for what they are. The first steps into the next phase.
I need to go to sleep,I will continue the discussion of “fall” very soon.