Graduation isn’t just for your kids…

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My babies are now all graduated…
I am both so proud….and sad. They are amazing children, but now they will need me in different ways. A transition…wether I am ready for this or not that transition is here and now.
This phase of my life has me thinking about raising children. This really isn’t much to do with being clairvoyant…just in being a parent and from my perspective a mom…

For many of us we follow the path of getting married, and sometimes before you even figure out who you are or who you are together you start right in on wanting a family…
And for many others you’re thrust into parenthood…regardless the start once you have that little bundle of joy in your arms the journey begins.

We nurture and love these little creatures we are amazed we created. We hope for the best for them….wish for them all that you could imagine…and promise to guard them from everything bad in the world. We coach them to roll over, we cheer at their first smile, we try to memorize all the firsts and share them boastfully with anyone that will listen. Basically from the time they are born we are teaching them to be independent. We cheerfully and sometimes sorrowfully embrace all the major milestones that make up their lives. The first tooth, the first day of school…the sport…the sleepovers…the first time they even stand up for themselves…we smile inside knowing that they are growing up. Then, they start to drive, date, stay out late…and later… We worry… Oh how we worry…are they safe, will they be ok? Can they defend themselves, will they get in an accident. We wonder and worry if we taught them enough. We start to look at the time…where did it go? Once high school starts…we realize that time is not running at a normal pace…no…it is now running at an accelerated pace. In a blink of an eye you’re sitting in a stadium…watching…with a tear in your eye, your baby…graduating.

As a parent you may understand that tear…it’s a tear of pride, joy, excitement and yes a little bit of sadness. The world is open…what they decide to do is up to them. We can lead and persuade but just as it was for us when we embarked on our journey…it’s their life. Life is now just starting for them… We can hope we did it right… Regret the mistakes we made along the way..

Some of us have enjoyed the journey so much we don’t feel ready to let go, but we know in our hearts we must. Knowing full well that you never let go completely…we just change up the grip a bit. Knowing that we did our best, and yes they will fall, stumble…but they will also succeed and feel joy like they have never felt before.

Ah…so…what now? I have never been that person that wanted more children…or melted at the site of a new baby, my two were all I needed. But, here I am, 45 years young…and ready or not the next journey of my life is starting as well. But, this transition…is going to be really hard…bittersweet…
Thankfully spirit is on my side, my guides are leading me along my path. Reminding me that I still have a job to do. Even though I feel a little melancholy..this too shall pass. The relationships I have developed with my children will change…change is inevitable….the one thing that will only grow is the love I have for them.

With a lot of support from my lovely husband…my friends…and spirit… I will take a deep breath (ok…quite a few deep breaths) and embrace what is to come.

I guess in a way this was my Graduation as well…I guess that means I passed. 🙂

Our voice

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Sometimes the signs we receive are very subtle, and at other times they can hit you like a brick wall.
I have noticed lately that I have been struggling with my voice. Voicing my opinion effectively in many different situations, such as work, home, and in relationships. Even though I have noticed this and given thought to it, I have not changed it or my behaviors really. Granted superficially I think I would argue that point…but nonetheless…I really have not taken any action to change. I keep waiting for change to happen. What I am being reminded, in many different ways, is that change doesn’t “just” happen. You have to take steps to actively make a positive change. Make an attempt to change a pattern, to find the pattern, to discern the pattern. Once that has happened, well…change will happen whether you then do something or not. Are you thinking…wait, she just said change doesn’t just happen… Let me explain this a little better. First if you are unaware of a pattern or…situation that is causing you some type of strife, or blockage in your life and you just wish for things to be better, yet continue the same dysfunctional patterns, nothing will radically change. Now, if you sit and find the patterns that may be causing you to create the imbalance, dysfunction, strife, or blockage and do nothing, change will happen because you are now consciously aware of what steps you are continuing to take…and you now know the potential results of those steps and by “choosing” to not make change in your behavior/steps you are making a choice.

Ok…back to my situation of my voice. I have had all these signs, and I think that because I still have not taken the steps I need to take, fully to heart, well the universe decided to hit me with one more direct sign. I have basically lost my voice.
It started with a sore throat…which I thought was the start of strep…no strep…but my throat swelled up. I could not swallow…it hurt SO bad, insanely bad. A little runny nose…no head ache…just a terrible throat pain. And now…I have no voice, barely above a whisper. Anyone that knows me personally knows that this is torture!! Ha!

So, with no voice (literally) I have to listen. Chose the words I do attempt to speak wisely (based on the energy needed to get them out) for I need to make what I say,count.

The lessons I am picking up on here are as follows.
1) Think before you speak
2) Chose the words you say carefully as to not hurt yourself or others.
3) Remember the power of silence.

These are things I need to remember to work on and take to heart.
It’s been a few days since I wrote this…I still don’t have a full voice. Now have a headache…this has been a very tiring bout. Our voice is a very powerful thing. Learning to use it in the way we intended it to be used is a big challenge for many of us.

Absence..trust…faith…peace

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I have been absent again… Sorry…seems like a new trend of mine.

Absent, is an interesting choice of words. Fitting though. I have been absent from my self, from my family, from my work…hiding it feels actually. Fear seems to have set in again for me. I can easily blame work or all the chaos that is my life right now, but in all realities…it’s fear. My fear of being me that makes me run and hide. Why is it we sometimes have the hardest time accepting ourselves? Seems ridiculous to me that I can give advice…see the pictures for someone and yet…doubt myself. The logical need to argue the facts part of me gets nervous. I start to realize…or should I say fear that I don’t know enough about “all this” to confidently argue my point…or stand up for my belief….I need to remember to trust myself, my spirit and to have faith that the answers are my answers…my beliefs and that they come to me from a high power…a transcended power, bigger than here and now. I need to tune out the rolling of the eyes…the smugness, or the whispers under the breath that I see and sense from people who seem to placate me with acceptance. If I believed in me…it wouldn’t matter what anyone else said or thought…it would not matter. My human need to be accepted and like the “norm” does nothing but make me feel that much more different then everyone else. When if I would just be me…I would fit in just fine, and where I didn’t fit in…would not matter.
I think one of the hardest lessons for me…in this life time is self exceptence. Sounds simple…but for those of us that have this block…it’s not. We accept everything and everyone…your beliefs your orientation…you choices…but yet true self acceptance seems to lurk just beyond reach in the corner of a dark and scary room. Something we venture towards…look in and embrace what we see…what we can understand and know….however the dark shadowed parts scare the Hell out of us. For me I seem to be afraid of unleashing…something that maybe I will not be able to control. In one of my many past life’s, I think I was very powerful…and I don’t feel that I used that power for good…I was very angry and vengeful….and this led to a lot of death and destruction. A very unhappy lifetime of loneliness and despair. Built up from a lot of personal loss. There seems to be this darkness that scares me. Something to contemplate….
However, if a stranger came to me and told me this… I would tell them that, that was then and they need to know that the need to suppress their power was no longer serving them… And that they now have a different path with more self control. They need to embrace their whole spirit. I would tell them that in that lifetime of darkness their self control was out of balance… They were not living through their whole spirit…but only one side of it…. Balance is key, and by rejecting all of ourselves we are not in balance…and to find true peace, balance is key.

I would tell them to open their hearts… Their arms and embrace who they are.. and know that with that embrace they would be accepting their whole self, and in turn…welcoming balance into their life… Trust, and believe…that we are who we are…right now…. In this lifetime….for a reason… Have faith that the path will only get brighter and the corners will become bright with spirit and love when we accept balance and ourselves for who were were meant to be….not what we are for others.

Well….lunch is over…just some light thinking….thanks for listening.

namaste~

Listening to our messages…

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I have noticed lately, every time I sit down to write out a blog, a reading, or just meditate I have a companion with me. My 15 year old cat; sox. He doesn’t really like to have me take time out and pet him (unless it’s on his stomach) he does however like to to be right next to me. He makes my heart smile.

I have been thinking today on symbolism again…it seems I have been hit with so much of it lately.
Just yesterday my husband and I took our motorcycle out for a beautiful ride in the foothills. The weather was perfect. We usually see a lot of the native animals in our area such as deer, elk, hawks and eagles…but yesterday…well…we saw an animal we have not seen in the wild here before, and we had a weird experience with some Bee’s. Let’s start with seeing what we believe to have been a wild turkey.

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Again i will remind you that this… is very out of the ordinary around here. He was just standing along side the road…by himself. It was the craziest thing. We even did a U-turn to see if it was really what we saw, and yep…it was a wild turkey!

The following is an excerpt taken from what’s your sign.com

“When the turkey visits us it is a sign that we must be mindful of the blessings bestowed upon us each day. Further, it is a message to express our strength and brilliance – it’s time to show our own plumage and reveal true selves.”

Reveal our true selves…seems like a reoccurring message in my life lately.

The other bizzar experience we had was while we were riding towards home, at the end of our ride. We were just enjoying the ride when… BAM! We are pelted with Bee’s…it had to be 20 or more! Big…bees, bumble bees. I was hit with a bunch that just bounced off me….and about 6 that actually stuck to me, that I had to brush off…my husband was equally as pelted by the Bee’s. I was lucky and was behind him, he actually had to block his face from the swarm that we obviously drove through. Weird…very weird. What i was able to find on Bee symbolism boiled down to this…

“If a Bee has shown up in your life, examine your own productivity.
Are you doing all you can to make your life more fertile?
Are you busy enough?
Are you making time to savor the honey of life and not becoming a workaholic?”
They are also known for accomplishing the impossible…

Both these hold a lot of meaning in my life right now…. I am grateful to the universe for reminding me I am not alone…and I am on the right path..Maybe next time….you don’t need to hit me with a spray of bees? Or…maybe I could listen better and have heard the message the first 20 times…

I think my goal this month is to look for the messages and symbolism in my daily life…each and every day this month. Symbolism is out there, we just have to pay attention.

Have a great evening and a wonderful tomorrow.

Sox is telling me it is time to stop typing, he keeps pawing my fingers down and then resting his head on my hand. I love my little friend!!! Good night.

P.s.
I just picked up my iPad to blog…and…opened my wordpress app…and this was here…..my missing blog. Do you understand my surprise? I have blogged since it was lost…it was gone…and now…it’s just here, up…open…ready for me to publish…
WOW…I need to find the message.

It happened again

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I wrote this great post…only to lose it.

About symbolism…and the messages I received this weekend.
What is going on??? It is so frustrating….argh!

Ok…I will go to sleep and try to recreate it tomorrow… Sigh, this better not be a sign of the week to come. I will maintain a positive attitude….but really… An hour of writing for it to all disappear?!?!?

Deep breath. There must have been a reason.

Sweet dreams.

A watchful eye..

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I have noticed for some time now that the trees in my yard keep an eye on me…
Signs are all around me…connections are everywhere. We just need to remember to not only see them…but be receptive to receiving the messages.

The last few days, I have been drawn to the following numbers…

Two days ago…I woke up at 11:11….then again at 1:11…then again at 3:33, needless to say I was tired. through out the last two days I have inevitably looked at the clock at 1;11 or 11:11…3:33…and 5:55. I figure it must mean something. My job is to figure out what…

I also had a reading in my Thursday class that has made me realize I need to learn receive.

This month, per the power path, is about commitment. What we are committed to, not necessarily commitment in the form of relationship. Back to my Thursday night class…we did readings in the class about where in our life we are receptive to commitment (we looked at the Chakras for this information) and where in our lives we are resistant. The reader that read me stated that my 7th and 3rd are where I am both receptive and resistant. The 7th Chakra is our crown chakra…our connection with spirit and the divine, the third is our solar plexus or power. She said that I am struggling with with trusting the information I receive…that I seem to be waiting for some big answer…to my question/s…that I need to accept that I can do what I do…and that I am who I am…embrace and trust. Trust was a big word…trust and be a receptacle…accept that I am on the right path. That I am getting information…and I need to allow the information to come…not resist it.

Then it was my turn to read. The information I received was really amazing. I know it was meant for me as much as her. The part I need to share is the picture and connection of the chakras. I saw all her chakras lined up…with a serpent/snake entwining them. It’s body wound itself up through each one….connecting them all with the head coming up out of the seventh. To me this picture meant living through all your chakras….aspiring to live a life through the seventh…that encompasses all the chakras. Creating the highest level of ascension. Example when we speak our truth through our fifth… Within this picture…you would not just speak through the fifth… But actually through the fifth via the seventh. The fifth acts as a filter with the seventh presenting the actual message. Hard to explain….but the thought, feeling, concept of this was beautiful.

For her I saw that to attain this level, her spirit had taken the rout to live a full life, living through one chakra at a time (meaning that chakra was the primary focus) for that life time. It was an interesting process she had chosen.

It was a really interesting class.

S always, thanks for reading. Any insight or comments are welcomed and appreciated, we are all in this together.

Namaste~

Sometimes I just write

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Sometimes I write so I can breathe..
Feel the words slip out with such ease…

Sometimes I write so I can hide…
Words can become a great disguise…

Sometimes I write so I can remember…
The feeling of a moment, we had together…

Sometimes I write to tell my story,
and sometimes so i can lose myself in another’s glory…

And…then there are the times I just write…
I write to remind myself of where I am going…