This entry started as a personal quest to understand my writers block. which sometimes feel as big as a boulder…
You see I love writing. I find such passion in it’s expression. But…some days, I feel empty. Sounds terrible, desperate even. Sometimes, it is.
I think that in my recent attempts to internalize more by not overstating at work…or running a muck at home (about work) I have some what pulled in. The more I think about it the more I think that this seems to happen when I get close to a break through with myself.
I hit a Platuo Which really is just a different level of fear. One so controlled that once reached you don’t even realize that it is fear. It disguises itself as justification and an attempt at reason. When really it’s sole intention is to keep me from breaking through. It thrives on and encourages self deprecation and self doubt. For me personally, writing, talking, and expression in general is how I grow. It is how I work through things, and by shutting my writing down it forces me to not push through the fear.
I realize this now… After I started writing this blog. However I have to thank my fellow bloggers out there, you have really inspired me. I am continually amazed by your voices.
In an attempt to break through this block. I have been looking on the internet, perusing blogs, and websites all the while in search of inspiration. After reading this months forecast from The Power Path I started to think, hmmm….Action-Reaction and trigger points. I can relate to this.
Check out their forecast, I really think they have a lot of insight and provide and incredible amount information. Plus…it’s what we all have to look forward to this September.
I have to say after reading the forecast, I really do believe that those events in our lives that seem so large…the people in our lives that have the greatest impact (both good and bad) are carried with us from other lifetimes…lessons to be learned that we have yet to master. It’s being able to stop…and recognize this at the time. Instead of getting carried away in the moment.
Some of what I have been dealing with that has triggered me into reaction (and for me writers block) not action has been health issues. I feel I have to Learn to love myself for who I am, how I am and what ever I am. It has become obvious to me that it is not a lesson that has come easy to me in any lifetime, past or present. I don’t like to say I am vain…but I am starting to think that I am. I have a personal standard set for myself by myself…that I don’t think I will ever reach. Sometimes I think I set it up like that on purpose to make the lesson just that much harder to accept. I have really struggled with the balance of why I look at things the way I do.
My goal this month, my personal challenge will be looking at these issues, blocks I have. Looking into what is now and what is the past. Once I can differentiate that I can start to work toward overcoming, not reacting. I really think that reacting is more of a show of power than an action. I need to learn to act not react.
It is so easy to let outside messages/justification influence our actions. In an attempt to actual fix/acknowledge our personal road blocks this month and not just elude to them join me in writing them down and address each one of them.
Step one- Write out the road block, issue…the fear.
Step two- Look at the issue, what seems rational for this moment in time. What can you attach to the issue.
Step three- Write out what fears or feelings can you not seem to attach? These are more and likely the ones we are carrying with us from the past.
Step four- Write out all the positive attached to this activity, change or issue.
Step five- Finally, write out an action to this issue. Remembering…That NO action results in a reaction (wouldn’t you rather be in control by acting).
This should help us to realize what fears are attached to the issue and which ones we have carried with us. And help us to throw away the Layers of justification.
As always, I hope this resonates with someone.
Have a great day.