Judgement- who really wants to be seen as judgemental?

Michelangelo - Fresco of the Last Judgement

Michelangelo – Fresco of the Last Judgement

How many of you feel that this word should be bolded and in all caps!? JUDGEMENT….

How do you define JUDGMENT Here is Merriam Websters attempt.

1) a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
b : an opinion so pronounced
2) a : a formal decision given by a court
b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court
(2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3) a: capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God
b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4) a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing
b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5) a : the capacity for judging : discernment
b
: the exercise of this capacity
6) : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

 
This is a touchy topic. No one really wants to be seen as judgemental… Unfortunately it is much more common to encounter people in your everyday life that are judging us to some extent. It seems sad to say that rarely do we come in contact with someone who is not judgemental (in some way or another).
There are so many hot buttons/topics out there that are attached to judging. I don’t want this discussion to become laden with, the legal system, schools or political views of the far left or far right way of thinking. I want to look at the human aspect of it. The personal aspect of judging. The judging of others (against your views) and the judging of self (against your views as well as the views of others).
 
This is a painful word. Why is it painful you may be asking? Is it not just a word? There are so many words that when written or spoken can stir up an enormous amount of pain. This word though…when used towards ones self can stunt growth. It can place roadblocks that need not be there. This word stems from fear.
Many times when the word is being used outwardly (internally upon other people) it happens out of fear, and jealousy. There is a root issue attached to the judgement…which inturn stems back to the judging of ones self.
 
Truthfully none of us is equip to judge someone else.
 
Let’s look inside the schools for a moment… and take a really basic example we have all had some experience with at one time or another (either as a participant or a witness) .
 
Someone within a group (of friends) judges the clothing or music or shoes of someone outside of their group, vocally in front of that person for others to hear (this is a very minor example just for discussion purposes, unfortunately situations like this are usually much worse).
 
Why do they do this? Who are they to judge someone else let alone their personal style? Their choice in music? Who are they to make them feel uncomfortable? What do they have to gain? In this scenario the actions seem pretty straight forward. Lets look at some of the obvious possibilities:
  1. They are picking on someone who appears different to make themselves feel superior.
  2. They wish they had the strength to be their own person.
  3. Their personal anger towards themselves for not having the courage to stand out pushes them to act out, the scenario they fear they would encounter.
  4. They do not feel free to express themselves and be their true self (so why should someone else)
  5. pick on… so you’re not picked on.

I think you get my point in regards to outward judgement.  It is usually an act of fear and jealousy (in an odd way). 

Let’s turn the table around and look at judgement from the dreaded, ever imposing, internal perspective.

JUDGEMENT…The hardest thing we are on ourselves!!  This is the word. the action. the thing that stops us the most besides fear (since they are so very related).

So many of us spend our lives judging ourselves.  Attempting to live by standards that were most likely set into motion by someone other than ourselves.  Ideals placed in our field by our parents and society.  I mean it really is the job of our parents, caregivers to help mold us into the people we are today.  We learn to live by the values of our loved ones.  I am not saying any of that is wrong!!!  Not at all!  Especially since the alternative would be solitude growing up, where we would never be able to choose a side or know right from wrong. 

What I am trying to do here is make you think about your values for a moment. 
Are they truly yours?  Do you believe them?  Do they feel in alignment with your current path…  How does it resonate within your current belief system?   

These are some short sentences that hold some pretty big questions.   I would suggest writing out your ideals, your values, basically the things that instantly come to your mind, that represent a good life, good person. 

Now…put a check mark next to the ones you would expect your friends to live up to.
Next, put a check mark next to the ones that you expect yourself to live up to.  

Now… look at this list. Does it seem complete… all the check marks where they need to be?  You may be thinking… where are you going with this?  Well, if you have two check marks next to each item on your list this is great.  Possibly you are in alignment.  Why do I say possibly???  Because we have a few of these lists… and the expectations with the items on the lists seem to change.   But it is a great check point to become more aware of your ideals, your values. 

The next thing to think about is what holds you back from doing something that does not affect your value system. 
let me give you some examples….

I would like to quit my job.  I don’t , because I am afraid that it would make me a quitter, a failure. 
NOW , If my friend were to say to me.  I really want to quit my job and do (blank).  I would counsel her to do what makes her happy.  That she would not be a quitter by moving in the direction her heart was pointing her.  I would ask her why she would consider herself a failure?  I would empower her to be who she was ment to be. 

I have decided to hold myself to a standard that I do not hold my friends at…why?  Why would we judge ourselves in a way we would never judge someone else? 

Here is another example:

I do not like to cry.  I hold my tears in.  When I start to cry, I get angry at myself and feel like I am weak.  I tell myself nothing good comes from crying.  Weak…weak… overly emotional…woman.  Float in head.  LOL!  Granted I know this is an issue and topic all on its own, but I digress… back to the example.  NOW, the scenario changes and a good friend comes to me with an issue.  They are crying…and they start to apologize for crying.  I stop them and tell them not to apologize.  They need to cry, release it. Feel it.  Let it out.  They say, I feel like such a baby though… I tell them that they are anything but.  All the while in my heart I feel so much love and compassion for this person.  I do not feel judgement… I do not look at them as weak…or overly emotional or as being “female”…NOT AT ALL.  Why is it easier to be accepting of this behavior with someone else but not in myself/ourself? 

Now these were just personal examples to try to make my point.  Each of us have different situations that they can possibly relate to.  Just as we each have different standards to which we attempt to live our lives.  Are these standards on your list?  Are these standards yours or expectations others placed upon you?  In the two situations above I have personally asked myself… do you think you are better than them? My answer is always no…I dont.  I just expect more from myself. 

I think part of it is judgement…and part of it is really knowing what we are personally capable of… we forget to be forgiving to ourselves.  We forget to hold our self in a compassionate stance.  

I know this became a truly long blog post… I am sorry.  I could go on…and on…and on, however… It all goes back to what I have been talking about in my last series of posts… We need to look within, learn who we are. 

Remember when doing any self work… we need to hold our space with  neutrality and amusement.  
Release expectations and let things flow.  The best advice I can give you is to give yourselves the advice, and understanding that we would give our dearest friend…our children. 

Love and light~
Namaste

Are you in control of your emotions… or are your emotions in control of you?

Image from Visual Paradox

Image from Visual Paradox

Thump…thump…thump…thump…

I hear it…do you?
The pumping…thumping…pounding
beating rhythm of a heart…my heart.

Edgar Allen Poe is running through my thoughts right now…
He was always a favorite poet and story-teller of mine, when I was younger.  He seemed to be able to describe in such great detail the depth of pain a heart could cause or hold. 

Think about it…an organ, a magnificent body organ that works in harmony with our brain to keep us alive.
That is all it is right…an organ.
But is it? I am afraid not. Even though it is an organ, this beautiful construction has the capacity to make us feel,and hold emotions.  Some that are in the moment and many that no longer serve us.

Even a simple rhythm in a song can trigger and  recreates an emotional reaction…
a longing in the heart.  Just as the tempo shifts our thoughts and feelings begin to change as well.  We react  like the strings attached to a marionette. 

Are you in control of your emotions…or are your emotions in control of you?

What emotion do you lead with? In your daily life…your exchanges, are you leading with your heart?  What does this mean to you? Are you able to tell the difference between the two? Can you tell if you are leading or being lead? Do you see the potential difference?

I have fond myself at times in a an emotional circle… Where I have experienced something that left a very strong emotional reaction/impact on my heart… Instead of working through it and looking for the lesson…breaking down the experience, and removing judgment of self and others…I wallow. 

Let me say for a minute here that there is a great difference between , feeling an emotion, letting it run its course and wallowing. It is really important to feel the emotion and move through it. Coming out on the other side is important. If you don’t process it…it can become you. 

Leading with emotion is not always bad…as with pretty much anything I write about it is about balance.  I find it hard to fixate on a black and white type of answer or society.  everything happens for a reason and everything that needs to happen will.  It is how we come at things… what emotion or stance we hold going into a situation can give it a completely different outcome.  It all goes back to the fact that we have choices and lessons in this life time… how we get to our destination is determined by us.  Some choices and lessons will take faster than others and some will move slower.  How you get there is up to you.  We need to learn to look within ourselves and see what our motivation or agenda is at any given time. 

Some will say that they do not live from agenda and that they have reached the highest of vibrations… Great… I don’t necessarily believe that this happens very often.  This physical life of ours is full of twists and turns.  We live equally in ego and spirit… to do this we encounter the effects of both.  All I want for all of us is to open our minds and our hearts to our intentions.  Understand ourselves and why we chose left and not right.  Learn from our choices and our reactions.  Don’t just be a game piece in your life, live it, be an active participant of the internal life as well as your external. 

It is possible to coast through and let ourselves be led through the experiences in our current life time…but why?  Why wouldn’t we want to be an active participant in our choices?  Relish in the beauty of it, the joy…sure there is pain as well…but through the pain we always have the potential for growth.  Expansion…in awareness of who we are and who we were meant to be. 

So as we embark on this confusing spring season (yes confusing)  engage your heart and chose neutrality in most all your outward interactions.   Why do I say confusing?  I seem to be getting the message that each season this year holds a year of seasons within it.  Each primary season magnified by its matching season within it, but also having traits and mirroring all the other seasons as well.    2013 is proving to be very unique, fast and exciting all at the same time.  Again I compare it to a time warp… a worm hole in the universe, providing an express lane to the next lesson. 

The biggest reminder is to live from your heart, that incrediable organ holds the key to your continued growth.  This chakra has been preparing for a very long time to help take on the power needed to infuse the rest of your energy centers.  All you need to do is open it up, air it out, let the blood pump through and trust that this is the new direction for all. 

Hold on and enjoy the ride.  Happy spring.

Namaste~

Clairvoyant Living the online series part 1

Here is the first video in our new series… On line classes are coming soon!!!  Please check it out and let me know what you think!!!  Would love your feedback. 

When you ask a question do you listen for the answer?

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Earless Potato head
He doesn’t hear you…

 

Do you say what you mean or mean what you say? Do you communicate with agenda or authenticity? What are your intentions? Do you start a dialogue with someone with an intention or agenda? When you ask a question do you listen for the answer? If you are not listening for the answer are you even hearing the question? Do most of your communications with people happen out of habit? Do you think before you speak?

These are all things I really started contemplating last week. Our communication…my communication where are we effective and ineffective.

I don’t believe it is possible to be the perfect communicator at all times…would it be great, yes.  Realistic, I don’t believe it is possible.  One of the things I really try to maintain in my blog  is being honest.  Even when being honest is not easy.  Just as I am human, we are all human.  I am reminded everyday that I am living a clairvoyant life, not a spirit life.  I am in all my glory, human and to error is to be human.

Maybe it was Mercury’s recent retrograde that got me thinking about communication, how we do it, and our thoughts behind it.  I remember this teacher I had in 7th grade…she asked a few of us in class one day how we were.  A lot of people responded with the normal, fine thanks how are you.  Not a big deal or story right??? Well, actually it is a really good story.  Stop and think for a minute…if someones in passing says to you “Hi, How are you doing?   What do you do?

Do you stop and look at them and say “Hi (so and so) I am doing really good, How are you doing?” or do you say, “Fine thanks, how are you?” Either response is really nice and politely sufficient, wouldn’t you say so?  What is the difference?  Well the only difference is in your awareness of the question and intent in answering.  Meaning, are you responding out of pure habit, or are you slowing down and processing the question and answering honestly?

The majority in the class responded out of habit.  the standard, fine thanks how are you.  Where as soon as we have finished uttering the word “you”… we have moved on and past the encounter, not pausing for even an answer.  She asked us all to test it.  Go out and ask the question to others, and see how they respond.  She also took it a step farther and asked us to respond non traditionally when we were asked how we were…either pause and really think before saying “fine” or say something different all together.  See how many people even notice what you say in your response.  The results were actually quite sad.  I blame, and thank  that teacher on the beginnings of my so-called awareness.

Now this test was in the late 70’s for me…but I think you could do it now with unfortunately similar findings.

About five years ago I used to work with someone who would get so annoyed with me for not asking them back how they were in this salutation.  They would see me…and say “Hi Jackie, How are you today”.  I would say “Hi Scott, I am fabulous (or sometimes Great, I would pick a letter and go with it that day) thanks” and I would continue on.  He would always respond with “I am fine too, thanks for asking”.  the thing was… I would never say I am fine, or ask him how he was.   That is what he would hear because he was never listening.  I would chuckle and be on my way. Granted I should have left it alone…but it was so obvious he was not paying attention and not being authentic.  Eventually he noticed and it really bothered him and I should have played the game and said what your supposed to say, but I didn’t.  The thing about this exchange with my coworker was it was all about ego to him.  He would make this grand statement and hello in earshot of others.  He had something to prove and I was just not the one to play along.    I learned that one afternoon in 7th grade that we can and should be polite but we should also not say things just to say them.  If I am truly wanting to know how you are I will ask you and I will listen.  I forget that I am expected to ask, out of simple courtesy .. but I believe that in the end it isn’t courteous it is rude (especially if I am not going to really listen to your answer).

In the situation above between my coworker and I, finally one day when we went through our daily routine, I responded with “that’s great Scott, but I learned a long time ago that when someone really wants to know they will not only ask, but listen”.  He got the message and we no longer had to play the game.

This example is specific, but really it affects all of our communications.  When we say I am sorry… are we saying it to just say it? Have you ever listened or counted how many times you say it, in a day?  Do you over say it?  Are you sorry when, in all reality whatever you are sorry about has nothing to even do with you?  In one day how many times do you say you are sorry?  For some of us we may be amazed at how often we are sorry.  Does the universe hear this as a mantra?  I am not saying stop apologizing… I am saying bring your awareness back into your apology, your sympathy.  Mean it.  And really if you are apologizing that much in a single day…maybe there are other things you should be looking at within yourself.

Now that Mercury is out of retrograde, I thought a good blog on communication was in order.  Something to talk about how we seem to lose sight in our authenticity in social settings.  We fall into programmed behavior that started with good intent and purpose, but has lost it intentions.  We need to honor our communication.  Be true to what you say and speak from your heart. Time moves much to quickly to not take the time to slow down and engage with people. Especially in the age of such technology.   Being honest about your intentions, and keeping your communications powered through our heart center (Chakra) will keep us from manipulating others or situations.  

This week focus on being aware of your communications, check yourself and check how others communicate with you (are they listening…really listening or thinking about what they are going to say next?).  What I once thought was a simple class project became so much more.  It taught me to be aware of what I am saying and how I am responding.  I may not always remember it, but…hey I am human remember.  This really was a great experience in awareness.

I cannot remember this teachers name…really wish I did.  She taught my 7th grade creative writing class…she encouraged writing and spoke candidly of her faults.  She is also the same teacher that gave the class a lesson on personal boundaries (which I have written about previously) she left a wonderful impression on me.  This is something we all need to remember and be aware of…we leave impressions on people…we never know really what we do that will leave the impression, or when it will happen.  Just know that it does, and we do.  When you live from your heart you know the impression you leave will be a good one.  Have a beautiful week!

Namaste~

Time to learn to swim with the current, not against it…

Pisces Spiral GalaxyI think what I am learning that right now…is we need to really dig into the old wounds. Peel back the scab that avoidance has formed and really dig at the root of the issue.

Just the thought of it is painful, uncomfortable and downright unpleasant.  Yes…I know it’s a disgusting image.  This imagery is in place to keep us away.  We want to avoid and that avoidance lets the scab form. Contrary to what we have been told about picking scabs…in this instance picking at the scab will not leave a scare.  Quite the opposite. Finding the cause will remove the cover up as well as the potential scare tissue and help us move forward.

I feel pretty confident that now is the time to move forward. Unearthing the issue we have avoided or let “scab” over will help us to see clearer the direction we are meant to go….the direction however that we go in will not be as easy as it could be when we carry our untreated wounds.  Doing this will feel like you are going up hill instead of traveling forward on a level plain. Why is it important? Just think of all the energy we will or would have if we didn’t need to carry all the scars with us. We would be able to focus and manifest that much the clearer and faster.

In the spirit of the Pisces new moon,  lets swim with the current not against it right now. If you feel like it is nothing but currents and you’re not getting where you are want to be…maybe you are dragging too much with you.  Are you even aware of what you are holding on to?  Are you holding on out of habit? Does it serve you or even matter anymore?

Much of the internal resistance we are feeling right now is in conjunction with mercury being in retrograde…it seems to be having more of an internal effect on us this time, instead as much externally.   As we near the 17th of March,  the fog will start to clear…things will begin to make more sense again.  Now is the perfect time to just sit with your thoughts.

Take time in the next few days to show appreciation for your perseverance. Applaud yourself for what you have accomplished…how far you have come. This has been a new time…a fast time. Energetically things are shifting quicker than ever before. In all the haste of change we need to be reminded to stop and show ourselves appreciation (no matter how small) it is VERY important. I am reminded of a song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show…Time warp…the thing is…we are all doing the time warp right now.  Everything is moving, quickly.  The saying “Thoughts become things”…takes on a new importance…as it becomes a more urgent reminder to focus on the positive.

So how are we to pick off the scabs and remain positive you ask? Remain NEUTRAL, this is the key.  Some of those old wounds have been festering for a very long time, so it’s not always easy to do this.  The energetic charge we are all carrying right now tells me that we have the power, right now, to take this stand.  It is what is necessary and all that’s standing in our way is the shadow of fear. Fear from our past attempts…and the events themselves.  Just remember that spirit does not lead us to something that it thinks we are not equip to handle.
The time  right now,  is to center ourselves and run our energy…
Pull in a a beautiful light of spirit…a white iridescent glow that is rich in love, warmth, wisdom and strength.  
Trust this light.  Let it fill you.
Fill you with the strength and courage you need to rip the “bandage” off and air out what we have kept covered. Then Breathe deeply, and with each breath know that you are not alone, you are never alone and
Release..release…and release.

Then fill in with all that you desire…no doubts how it will all be achieved… Just believe.
Trust that the picture is bigger than you could ever imagine.
Know that love is the ultimate goal.
Remove self judgement and allow things to unfold.
Step into your light body, and allow yourself to feel the warmth. Bask in it.
Breathe in the inspiration that surrounds you.

The task at hand is more about exposing the wound… Acknowledging it.  Thanking it in a sense for the lessons you have learned from it, and then letting it know that it is no longer serving you. It’s original purpose is no longer needed…the protection or reminder has been replaced with a new understanding.  An understanding of who you are and why.  Love now fills the space where the scab once was.  Love will replace the void, the regret, the pain.  If this were a card game Love would ultimately heal and trump all.  Play the love card on you self. 

The beauty of love is that once you give it, you release it…you are automatically filled with more. The more you give the more you recieve…it is endless.

Remember Love =more love….

Namaste~

Don’t look at it as forgiveness… look at it as acceptance

254509_10151117635338129_771528384_nSomeone recently asked me a question about forgiveness. To explain it, and talk about how we forgive.  It really got my mind thinking about forgiveness…what is it. Is the act of forgiveness really taking place if while the words are echoing within you, your heart is screaming to be heard?

Is forgiveness really that of a spiritual nature or the ego? Think about it…
If it is truly coming from the heart…. I think…. it can be…but then why would we be needing to forgive, wouldn’t we just be accepting? Accepting the person or the behavior.  Isn’t forgiving them just another means to state that they aren’t good enough or didn’t live up to your expectations or standards?

Granted there so many different times when forgiveness is being used so it can sometimes seem difficult to have a vague discussion about it… AND again I state that if we are truly forgiving someone for something it must be from our hearts to make it really valid.

Look at it from the side of receiving forgiveness… isn’t this too an ego booster. Doesn’t  being forgiven for whatever it is we did “wrong” make us feel better about ourselves, relieved?

Let’s look at a pretty simple generic example: If someone were to say “I am really sorry I lied, I did not mean to hurt you like this”. If the apology is sincere, heartfelt and the person is honestly regretful for the act, and you honestly believe them and forgive them, then all is good in this situation. Forgiveness makes sense. The act is still somewhat ego based though (don’t you think?) since both sides feel better because one has been forgiven (exonerated in a way) and the other has had the power to forgive.When in truth the basis for forgiveness (I think in its original form or intention) was intended to be an acceptance of what happened with an acknowledgement of each others part in the pain.

Maybe we should be looking at our intentions behind forgiveness. Are you forgiving for the power of forgiveness or are you being forgiving because of understanding the situation or the person? I think the key is removing judgement, and being true and honest when you forgive. Saying the words I forgive you or I forgive___ can be really empty. The words need to have heart and feeling behind them to mean anything. 

Overall acceptance and understanding need to have a play in forgiveness.  No one is perfect and no one should ever feel like they HAVE to forgive someone…defeats the purpose of forgiving.  We need to be in alignment with our whole self to truly forgive. 

That brings me to another point that comes up with forgiveness… With big issues in life we are often told that we will never forget, but we can forgive.  This statement is really a tough one.  I think that no one should feel that they have to forgive… I think that the word “forgive” should be replaced with “Let go”.  We may never forget, but we can let go. I like how that sounds much better.  So often  the big issues we hold on to where we are told to forgive, are the hardest ones… we hold on to them with such rigor… such hate… that forgiving is next to impossible.  What we need to do is let go of it.  Release it.  Stop allowing it to take so much of our energy.  The longer we hold on the weaker we become, our energy drains from us… because we are holding on to the issue/situation so tightly.  All of our reserves go to holding on to the anger or hatred we feel, we are so often afraid that if we forgive it makes it ok…. Many times it is was not ok.  Forgiveness in violent situations is a big thing to ask.  Shouldn’t necessarily be asked.  We should be focusing on letting it go.  This is not validating the person or experience… it is, not letting the person or experience take anymore of our time or energy.  It is freeing yourself to take care of yourself, to focus on love.  Love of self not hate and anger. 

Ultimately we create more of what we focus on, why spend time on hate and anger when you can focus on love of self (first) and others.  Love creates Love… Anger creates Anger….Hate creates Hate. 

You say you can’t find anything to focus your love on?  Start with yourself… Look deep… Look around you, at the sky… Love is all around us. 

Go create more love!

Namaste~

 

Trust in the direction you are headed and know that soon the path will become clear.

DSCN3695I am not sure about the rest of you…but I thought coming into March would feel a little calmer.  Instead I am feeling focused one minute and completely scattered the next. 

My head is full of thoughts and direction and yet I am overwhelmed and unsure of my next step.  Where am I going?  What was I doing?  Focus and then confusion, this is my current  routine.   

Thoughts and plans spin rapidly in my brain.  Formulas and ideas for my next class or venture spring up.  Plans and possibilities are everywhere.  One minute I am excited and the very next I am unsure.  I can feel my confidence slide and slowly slip between my fingers.  I find myself sitting…starring blankly at the screen wondering not only where but how do I even begin.  Looking at the clock I find that what felt like moments were really minutes.  Minutes that slipped into hours.  Hours of sitting, with nothing to show.  A blank screen.  A reflection of the direction I feel like I am heading. 

I am torn with do-ing and be-ing.  Knowing full well that I am still in the state of be-ing.  The do-ing is coming…

I realize I cannot start do-ing right now, even though I have this intense need to surge ahead at times.  What I am realizing is… if I started do-ing right now (that is if the universe actually allowed me to, which it is not!) I would end up re-doing everything anyway.  It being stressed to me in so many ways that everything is not in place yet, ideas are still formulating.  The intentions are still fermenting, getting ready to burst through the soil.  The Cycle of time right now is that of a dust storm.  Those things that have not quite been dealt with or taken care of are being re-circulated to the forefront of our attention. 

 The next two weeks are going to be about waiting out the dust storm.  Letting the dust settle before we start sweeping up the debris.  If we start now we will just be moving it from one corner to another.  Give it all time to settle, then asses what is still needing cleaned up.  THEN, finally we can start the steps needed to create the space for all that we have been dreaming of.  This winter has been about seeding our intentions for the coming year.  

Mercury being in retrograde is usually a challenge of its own, but right now it actually feels helpful.  I communication that is struggling for most of us in our internal communication.  The clarity and then the haze that we may feel internally actually forces us to look deeper within.  It is as though the fog we may be experiencing is the universes way of slowing us down from being to reactive.  Basically what I am trying to tell you all is to realize you are not alone… right now, just take some breaths, trust all will make sense soon, and go with the flow.   

Spring will be abundant.  Abundant in so many ways. 

Enjoy your Monday!

Namaste~

When you come into contact with people are you presenting your true self, or do you wear a mask?

IMAGE_137

Original Artwork by my daughter Erin Mihalchick

 

I started thinking about this when I noticed that I have what seems to me as a slightly different presentation of myself, depending on the social situation I am in. So I started to take a look at what I am filtering and what masks I may  where and why.  This prompted me to list the most common social groups we encounter on a daily basis.  Some of these groups overlap eachother and can make them even that much more complex.

What about you, what masks or filters do you wear when you are with specific groups of people?  Do you represent yourself universally to all or does it depend on who you are with?

Take a moment and think about the following groups of people…

  • Strangers
  • Friends
  • CoWorkers
  • Spouse
  • Family (immediate)
  • Relative

I would love to say that  I am always the same person.  But I am not.  I used to strive to be the same person all the time.  The same face, same energy.  However what I have come to realize is that I am missing the beauty of all that I am.  We all wear so many faces throughout the day, it is the forgetting of our truth and our essence while switching from mask to mask that fades us away.  The trick, or lesson really (no tricks) is to learn how to remain yourself but allow your energy to adapt to the different situations you find yourself in,  to appropriately shine.

If you were asked which of the above do you feel you can be your true unmasked 100 watt self around, what would you answer?  Would it be Family, Spouse, Friends?  How many would pick  Strangers?  In giving you a 100% honest answer, for me I would pick Stangers.

Many may argue my point, and please feel free.  I love to hear and learn other perspectives!
I would pick strangers because with them there are no preconcieved expectations.  I can just be.  Usually in those moments of just being, when we do not think about the how or the why we are able to just be.

When we are with all the other groups our Friends, Family, Spouse, CoWorkers and Relatives we are ourselves but with a filter or mask.  We excentuate the traits that blend best with a specific group.  This goes even further than the groups listed we have subgroups within subgroups.  The challenge we all face is balance.  Balancing the extent of the filters or masks we wear.  If you find that you are using filter upon filter to drown out your truth then you are no longer being authentic.  Many will say you should not have to filter or mask at all that you should be accepted for you in all your entirety.  I think that there is sooo much truth to that, however I would challenge those with only that stance. 

 My challenge would be this.  Think about the many multidimensional layers that make us who we are.  In different times of our lives one may be more dominant than another (granted if you have successfully learned all that you were here to learn and were living in nirvana, well then this would not apply).  For all the rest of us we have journeys to travel and lessons to learn.  If we only surround ourselves with those that are just like us we become limited in our thoughts and our growth. By not allowing ourself to filter and not shield off others we are able to encounter new situations, new information and expand.  Learning and growth is about expansion of both our views and our encounters. Let us also not forget the power of enlightenment of others.  Allowing others to see our spark will draw them near and open there hearts and minds to possibilities they had not thought of before.  We are all here to share our knowledge with each other to come back to the collective.  Filters and Masks can help us connect more, it allows the different personalities that we all posses, the ability to unite and have a voice.

 Some here may call me crazy, but I really do believe we all carry multiple personalities; some of course may have more varied personalities than others abd there is a fine line of control with these traits.     

Think about it like this; if you are a parent you have a parent mask that you wear, at work you have (or for a lot of us) you have a professional mask you put on and filter out the party animal.  With friends you allow the social side of your to become dominant and you allow the worry and stress to be filtered.  With our spouse or a significant other you allow a romantic side to flow through and you enter a deeper more intimate you be exposed.  Some here would say that the filters and masks go away.  But this is where I disagree, almost all of them do but you still have expectations that are within the relationship, for the most part here, you have to wear the filter or mask however  you may perceive it to remember that you must consider another, not just self.  I am not saying we are not authentic or we are not really ourselves, I am saying that we all have layers and masks.  I just wonder how aware are you of yours?

The next question past awareness of the filters and masks are how you are using yours.  Are you hiding behind them seeking false acceptance?  Are you afraid to take yours off for fear of rejection?  Have you lost sight of who you really are? 

This is where running your energy, and grounding yourself can help you get back to you.  By learning how to tap into earth and spirit and then release…all that isn’t yours…This is how you can find your way back to you.  Here you can also feel again how it feels to be just you. A you without expectations, without responsibility, without masks and most importantly without judgment.   You are then able to look at where you wear your masks and filters.  You will be able to discern what serves you and what doesn’t.  The process of finding your energy and allowing yourself the space and boundaries to be all that you can be will be the most rewarding experience of your life.  It is the foundation of all growth. 

You will then understand the different filters and masks that you use and how to use them in a constructive way that allows you to still be who you are. 

It all comes back to understanding ourselves, and to truly understand ourselves we have to understand our energetic field, bodies our quantum selves.  We need to first look within to understand what is on the external side. Our internal light (spirit) shines so bright that sometimes we need to hold a space that allows our energy to not overpower anothers, this is where understanding your energy and holding your boundaries is so very crucial!

Going back to my intitial question of: If you were asked which of the above do you feel you can be your true unmasked 100 watt self around, what would you answer?  My initial answer of Stranger is probably incorrect.  Even when we are encountered by a stranger we are probably wearing the masks and filters of whatever situation we are in.  We have a higher chance of being 100% us, especially since we could be in that relaxed transition state.  My answer now though would be none of the above situations and would be, when I am running my energy. 

Well, there is a quick look at masks and layers.  Soon we will talk more about the positives as well as the negatives. 

Have a wonderful day!

Namaste~