I spent the weekend pondering on what topic to write about. I kept picking up my computer and then just putting it down. I ask for guidance and the word that kept popping up in my head was “Acceptance”.
Michelle and I filmed Video 4 in our Clairvoyant Living Series this weekend (watch for the post) and while we were preparing to film, we started talking and lo and behold the discussion of acceptance came up, there too.
Now acceptance is a really big word. When you hear the word what do you think of?
Do you think of accepting others, acceptance of gifts, compliments and possibly acceptance of another’s point of view. How many think of you think of it, in relation to ones self???
Let me start at the beginning…
For many of us our collective purpose is that of growth and healing. We seek guidance and advice, spend much of our life contemplating what we learn and reveal about ourselves. All this in the search for enlightenment. We see our faults and set out to change or correct them. We become focused on becoming a “better” person. We embark on a journey of change and dissection.
We dissect our personalities, categorizing our faults and our attributes into sections to be evaluated. Many times we will see areas that need to be enhances, supported or tamed down. Sometimes we even find things we don’t want to find. These things, these character flaws or errors of omissions we try to look over and not shed any real light on, are there. We think we should fix them…find out why we do what we do, why they are there. We try to unearth the wrong in our life that created this bleep in our path. We struggle with the dark that we find and try to overcompensate with extra good.
All this is part of the process that each one us encounter along our path of personal growth…or personal enlightenment. Many will spend their entire life trying to correct or fix things that they uncover that they feel do not meet the criteria of being the person they think they should be.
So…acceptance…where am I going with this? There comes a point in all of our lives that we need to stop what we are doing and accept who we are. All of who we are. Accept the beauty that is you.
Acceptance does not mean we are no longer working on improvement… rather it allows us the permission to be who we are. When we can love the person we are today in this very moment, this moment is the moment that true change and growth can actual begin to happen. Accepting ourselves our beauty, our faults, this is the biggest step forward we can ever take.
When we stop comparing ourselves to someone else or some other ideal and accept who we are and where we have been, then we can really look at the things we have not liked to look at. Look at them with a clearer view of what those attributes and traits were put into place for. Were they for survival? Wer they for defense, was put into place to prevent us from making a mistake we made once before in our past (current or past life)? We cannot change what was or has already been done…we can however look at the situation or experiences for what they were, the purpose… and know that this trait or attribute no longer serves us. We can then accept the past for what it was… knowing full well that it has helped to create the person you are today. Move forward with love and acceptance of yourself, this will enable you to let go of that which no longer fits your plan or your path. Sometimes experience is the best lesson in life…we learn from that which we personally experience and walk through. The key is knowing when and what you can let go of and leave behind you going forward.
Acceptance…is the key to love…unconditional love. To have it and to give it you must take the first step in accepting yourself.
How many of you feel that this word should be bolded and in all caps!? JUDGEMENT….
How do you define JUDGMENT Here is Merriam Websters attempt.
1) a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
b : an opinion so pronounced
2) a : a formal decision given by a court
b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court
(2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3) a: capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God
b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4) a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing
b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5) a : the capacity for judging : discernment
b : the exercise of this capacity
6) : a proposition stating something believed or asserted
- They are picking on someone who appears different to make themselves feel superior.
- They wish they had the strength to be their own person.
- Their personal anger towards themselves for not having the courage to stand out pushes them to act out, the scenario they fear they would encounter.
- They do not feel free to express themselves and be their true self (so why should someone else)
- pick on… so you’re not picked on.
I think you get my point in regards to outward judgement. It is usually an act of fear and jealousy (in an odd way).
Let’s turn the table around and look at judgement from the dreaded, ever imposing, internal perspective.
JUDGEMENT…The hardest thing we are on ourselves!! This is the word. the action. the thing that stops us the most besides fear (since they are so very related).
So many of us spend our lives judging ourselves. Attempting to live by standards that were most likely set into motion by someone other than ourselves. Ideals placed in our field by our parents and society. I mean it really is the job of our parents, caregivers to help mold us into the people we are today. We learn to live by the values of our loved ones. I am not saying any of that is wrong!!! Not at all! Especially since the alternative would be solitude growing up, where we would never be able to choose a side or know right from wrong.
What I am trying to do here is make you think about your values for a moment.
Are they truly yours? Do you believe them? Do they feel in alignment with your current path… How does it resonate within your current belief system?
These are some short sentences that hold some pretty big questions. I would suggest writing out your ideals, your values, basically the things that instantly come to your mind, that represent a good life, good person.
Now…put a check mark next to the ones you would expect your friends to live up to.
Next, put a check mark next to the ones that you expect yourself to live up to.
Now… look at this list. Does it seem complete… all the check marks where they need to be? You may be thinking… where are you going with this? Well, if you have two check marks next to each item on your list this is great. Possibly you are in alignment. Why do I say possibly??? Because we have a few of these lists… and the expectations with the items on the lists seem to change. But it is a great check point to become more aware of your ideals, your values.
The next thing to think about is what holds you back from doing something that does not affect your value system.
let me give you some examples….
I would like to quit my job. I don’t , because I am afraid that it would make me a quitter, a failure.
NOW , If my friend were to say to me. I really want to quit my job and do (blank). I would counsel her to do what makes her happy. That she would not be a quitter by moving in the direction her heart was pointing her. I would ask her why she would consider herself a failure? I would empower her to be who she was ment to be.
I have decided to hold myself to a standard that I do not hold my friends at…why? Why would we judge ourselves in a way we would never judge someone else?
Here is another example:
I do not like to cry. I hold my tears in. When I start to cry, I get angry at myself and feel like I am weak. I tell myself nothing good comes from crying. Weak…weak… overly emotional…woman. Float in head. LOL! Granted I know this is an issue and topic all on its own, but I digress… back to the example. NOW, the scenario changes and a good friend comes to me with an issue. They are crying…and they start to apologize for crying. I stop them and tell them not to apologize. They need to cry, release it. Feel it. Let it out. They say, I feel like such a baby though… I tell them that they are anything but. All the while in my heart I feel so much love and compassion for this person. I do not feel judgement… I do not look at them as weak…or overly emotional or as being “female”…NOT AT ALL. Why is it easier to be accepting of this behavior with someone else but not in myself/ourself?
Now these were just personal examples to try to make my point. Each of us have different situations that they can possibly relate to. Just as we each have different standards to which we attempt to live our lives. Are these standards on your list? Are these standards yours or expectations others placed upon you? In the two situations above I have personally asked myself… do you think you are better than them? My answer is always no…I dont. I just expect more from myself.
I think part of it is judgement…and part of it is really knowing what we are personally capable of… we forget to be forgiving to ourselves. We forget to hold our self in a compassionate stance.
I know this became a truly long blog post… I am sorry. I could go on…and on…and on, however… It all goes back to what I have been talking about in my last series of posts… We need to look within, learn who we are.
Remember when doing any self work… we need to hold our space with neutrality and amusement.
Release expectations and let things flow. The best advice I can give you is to give yourselves the advice, and understanding that we would give our dearest friend…our children.
Love and light~
I hear it…do you?
beating rhythm of a heart…my heart.
Edgar Allen Poe is running through my thoughts right now…
He was always a favorite poet and story-teller of mine, when I was younger. He seemed to be able to describe in such great detail the depth of pain a heart could cause or hold.
Think about it…an organ, a magnificent body organ that works in harmony with our brain to keep us alive.
That is all it is right…an organ.
But is it? I am afraid not. Even though it is an organ, this beautiful construction has the capacity to make us feel,and hold emotions. Some that are in the moment and many that no longer serve us.
Even a simple rhythm in a song can trigger and recreates an emotional reaction…
a longing in the heart. Just as the tempo shifts our thoughts and feelings begin to change as well. We react like the strings attached to a marionette.
Are you in control of your emotions…or are your emotions in control of you?
What emotion do you lead with? In your daily life…your exchanges, are you leading with your heart? What does this mean to you? Are you able to tell the difference between the two? Can you tell if you are leading or being lead? Do you see the potential difference?
I have fond myself at times in a an emotional circle… Where I have experienced something that left a very strong emotional reaction/impact on my heart… Instead of working through it and looking for the lesson…breaking down the experience, and removing judgment of self and others…I wallow.
Let me say for a minute here that there is a great difference between , feeling an emotion, letting it run its course and wallowing. It is really important to feel the emotion and move through it. Coming out on the other side is important. If you don’t process it…it can become you.
Leading with emotion is not always bad…as with pretty much anything I write about it is about balance. I find it hard to fixate on a black and white type of answer or society. everything happens for a reason and everything that needs to happen will. It is how we come at things… what emotion or stance we hold going into a situation can give it a completely different outcome. It all goes back to the fact that we have choices and lessons in this life time… how we get to our destination is determined by us. Some choices and lessons will take faster than others and some will move slower. How you get there is up to you. We need to learn to look within ourselves and see what our motivation or agenda is at any given time.
Some will say that they do not live from agenda and that they have reached the highest of vibrations… Great… I don’t necessarily believe that this happens very often. This physical life of ours is full of twists and turns. We live equally in ego and spirit… to do this we encounter the effects of both. All I want for all of us is to open our minds and our hearts to our intentions. Understand ourselves and why we chose left and not right. Learn from our choices and our reactions. Don’t just be a game piece in your life, live it, be an active participant of the internal life as well as your external.
It is possible to coast through and let ourselves be led through the experiences in our current life time…but why? Why wouldn’t we want to be an active participant in our choices? Relish in the beauty of it, the joy…sure there is pain as well…but through the pain we always have the potential for growth. Expansion…in awareness of who we are and who we were meant to be.
So as we embark on this confusing spring season (yes confusing) engage your heart and chose neutrality in most all your outward interactions. Why do I say confusing? I seem to be getting the message that each season this year holds a year of seasons within it. Each primary season magnified by its matching season within it, but also having traits and mirroring all the other seasons as well. 2013 is proving to be very unique, fast and exciting all at the same time. Again I compare it to a time warp… a worm hole in the universe, providing an express lane to the next lesson.
The biggest reminder is to live from your heart, that incrediable organ holds the key to your continued growth. This chakra has been preparing for a very long time to help take on the power needed to infuse the rest of your energy centers. All you need to do is open it up, air it out, let the blood pump through and trust that this is the new direction for all.
Hold on and enjoy the ride. Happy spring.
Someone recently asked me a question about forgiveness. To explain it, and talk about how we forgive. It really got my mind thinking about forgiveness…what is it. Is the act of forgiveness really taking place if while the words are echoing within you, your heart is screaming to be heard?
Is forgiveness really that of a spiritual nature or the ego? Think about it…
If it is truly coming from the heart…. I think…. it can be…but then why would we be needing to forgive, wouldn’t we just be accepting? Accepting the person or the behavior. Isn’t forgiving them just another means to state that they aren’t good enough or didn’t live up to your expectations or standards?
Granted there so many different times when forgiveness is being used so it can sometimes seem difficult to have a vague discussion about it… AND again I state that if we are truly forgiving someone for something it must be from our hearts to make it really valid.
Look at it from the side of receiving forgiveness… isn’t this too an ego booster. Doesn’t being forgiven for whatever it is we did “wrong” make us feel better about ourselves, relieved?
Let’s look at a pretty simple generic example: If someone were to say “I am really sorry I lied, I did not mean to hurt you like this”. If the apology is sincere, heartfelt and the person is honestly regretful for the act, and you honestly believe them and forgive them, then all is good in this situation. Forgiveness makes sense. The act is still somewhat ego based though (don’t you think?) since both sides feel better because one has been forgiven (exonerated in a way) and the other has had the power to forgive.When in truth the basis for forgiveness (I think in its original form or intention) was intended to be an acceptance of what happened with an acknowledgement of each others part in the pain.
Maybe we should be looking at our intentions behind forgiveness. Are you forgiving for the power of forgiveness or are you being forgiving because of understanding the situation or the person? I think the key is removing judgement, and being true and honest when you forgive. Saying the words I forgive you or I forgive___ can be really empty. The words need to have heart and feeling behind them to mean anything.
Overall acceptance and understanding need to have a play in forgiveness. No one is perfect and no one should ever feel like they HAVE to forgive someone…defeats the purpose of forgiving. We need to be in alignment with our whole self to truly forgive.
That brings me to another point that comes up with forgiveness… With big issues in life we are often told that we will never forget, but we can forgive. This statement is really a tough one. I think that no one should feel that they have to forgive… I think that the word “forgive” should be replaced with “Let go”. We may never forget, but we can let go. I like how that sounds much better. So often the big issues we hold on to where we are told to forgive, are the hardest ones… we hold on to them with such rigor… such hate… that forgiving is next to impossible. What we need to do is let go of it. Release it. Stop allowing it to take so much of our energy. The longer we hold on the weaker we become, our energy drains from us… because we are holding on to the issue/situation so tightly. All of our reserves go to holding on to the anger or hatred we feel, we are so often afraid that if we forgive it makes it ok…. Many times it is was not ok. Forgiveness in violent situations is a big thing to ask. Shouldn’t necessarily be asked. We should be focusing on letting it go. This is not validating the person or experience… it is, not letting the person or experience take anymore of our time or energy. It is freeing yourself to take care of yourself, to focus on love. Love of self not hate and anger.
Ultimately we create more of what we focus on, why spend time on hate and anger when you can focus on love of self (first) and others. Love creates Love… Anger creates Anger….Hate creates Hate.
You say you can’t find anything to focus your love on? Start with yourself… Look deep… Look around you, at the sky… Love is all around us.
Go create more love!
I noticed a bird yesterday… following the road above my car. It was a beautiful Black Raven, he was weaving in and out to avoid the tree tops but definitely following the road. For awhile he was above us then in front of us, he was a big and beautiful Raven. Even with his occasional sway you could tell that he was on such a sure mission. Instead of creating a flight pattern of his own he was following the road below him, laid out in front of us both. Captivated by his distinct direction, I started to contemplate the symbolism.
It seemed to confirm and assure me that I was on the right path. Headed in the right direction. To not doubt or turn back just because somethings seems to be blocking your way. That even when it looks like I am no longer in the clear, to remember to be flexible enough to not be knocked off course by the occasional stray branch. To forge ahead, all the while remembering to go with the ebb and flow of life.
This is a good message. Some thing we all can take a look at in our own lives. Where are you on your proverbial path? Are you still headed in the right direction? All the intentions you have been setting, are they in your best interest? Are you keeping in mind that what we ponder and intend today will directly affect the direction we continue in tomorrow?
I have pondered these things a lot lately. I have found that I have hesitantly moved into unfamiliar yet passionate territory. All the while wondering am I moving in the right direction? I have noticed that with the best intentions I have seemingly chosen to take baby steps. These steps have allow me to change direction at any time. They have also allowed me to inched myself forward, but not with the vigilance that I now know I need to emit.
Looking up at this often regarded dark bird confirmed the magic of it all. It ignited the confidence that I needed to be awakened.
I read somewhere that the Raven, in accordance with Celtic symbolism, is believed to be a sign that something special, but unexpected will happen. Something is yet to come. What arrives depends solely on us. I know that I want change. I am ready to move in the direction that calls to my heart. My first intention for the new year will be to share my light, expand my gift by not filtering. Happily I will follow this path, and eventually when the path is no longer there(or no longer needed) I will create my own.
Have a wonderful week! Happy belated Thanksgiving to all my followers, I am incredibly thankful for each and every one of you. Besides my Facebook followers(friends) I have almost reached 100 followers. This is truly amazing to me. Thank you for listening, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and opening me up to your blogs.
Lots of Love~
aka Clairvoyant Girl