Why I write…Sharing a writing contest , check it out.

What: In your best, most succinct writing – and in 100 words or less – tell us why you write. Dig deep. Why do you continue to put pen to page and what mark, through your craft, do you hope to make on the world?

How: http://www.literarybits.com/our-first-literary-bits-essay-writing-contest/

When: You have until 5:00 p.m. EST on Friday, April 26 to enter.

The Prize: Winner will receive one Moleskine Classic Extra Large Soft Cover ruled notebook (7.5 x 10). Picture above.

Click the link to go to the contest. GOOD LUCK!
I found that it was a really good lead in question…why do I write? Why do you write?? Here is my submission, I hope you enjoy.

Why I write…

I write to tell a story, my story. Writing allows me to make sense of the thoughts and words that dance relentlessly in my head. To show how putting one feeling to paper can take an army of words to express. I write to inspire thought. In writing I wear no masks, I am exposed. With my words I can only hope to awaken the desire of others to look within. My dream is to provide an environment that allows us to slow down and realize we’re not alone. I am a narrator and my story is my life.


Sometimes I wonder who I am… and then I have the craziest dream…


Sometimes I wonder where I am…Who I am…Do I fit in…

The truth is the only question that matters is “who am I” the others don’t matter. The others just cause us sadness when we dwell or try to fit in. The strength needed for us to realize that all we need is to be who we were meant to be, is enormous for most.

So often we spend such a large part, if not our whole life worrying about trying to fit in that we forget to live and be who we are or were meant to be. I keep getting the message that it is time to stop conforming to a mold that is outdated. We need to refocus our intentions to living our life, not narrating it or analysing it…living it.

Make the necessary changes needed to open yourself up. I have been periodically listening to YouTube videos on Abraham Hicks… I am really loving the message. The are so…simple. yet we so often over look or miss them. This is one I listened to today.

I woke up this morning not wanting to really get up (this happens most days LOL! ) today it was for a different reason. I was having the most peculiar dream. I got up and dismissed it… went about my day feeling slightly off. Being extra aware of not really “fitting” in, yes…we all feel this way at times. But as the day progressed and after listening to the Abraham Hicks video, I was at lunch talking to a friend when my dream hit me again.

I realized I needed to take a longer look at it. This is what I dreamt last night.
I had the most interesting dream last night.

I dreamt I was riding this horse through the woods…up and down a mountainous terrain. It was beautiful yet there was a reason for the ride. It felt like a hunt.
I had others with me, and I recall talking with them but I do not remember what was said. We agreed on something, then I dug my heels into my horse (so I thought it was a horse) and took off in a direction on my own. I remember getting tired of the journey and resting my head on my horses main (again…so I thought). this is when I noticed that the main was not like that of a normal horse. It was soft and fur like, fluffy and so very comfortable. My hands sunk into the sandy colored mounds of fluffy fur. I then, opened my eyes and saw that I was not holding on or riding what I thought to be a giant magnificent horse, but a mighty lion. Larger than any lion I had ever seen before.
I found my self extremely comforted, not at all afraid as one might think you would be on the back of a mighty lion. I dug my hands and arms in deeper and rested my head in his main. I felt comfortable, and deeply tired. It felt safe. I remember riding off…seeing myself holding on to this beautiful majestic creature,my larger than life lion…confidently and full of love. We belonged together.

This was my dream…


All afternoon I kept thinking about this dream…this lion, and how comfortable I felt. I went on a mission of needing to know what it meant. I began looking up dream symbolism and found many things that really seemed to make sense… I was actually surprised to have found something that actually said ” To ride one, denotes courage and persistency in surmounting difficulties” this seemed to really click. I kept searching… I went to one of my favorite sites Whats your Sign and found this.

When the lion comes to us it is a sign for us to step into our natural birthright of power. Each of us is born powerful and divine. The lion reminds us of this.

Other messages the lion shares with us:

  • Hold your head high – even in times of conflict – conduct yourself with dignity
  • Stand tall, remember your birthright of power
  • Perhaps it’s time to show your authority (not in a dominating way) but lead others with a loving heart
  • It may be time to defend something that is dear to your heart – defend it fiercely if you must.
  • Have courage, have faith.

While I kept searching for the answer to my dream I knew inside that the real answer always lies within us. I chuckled at myself and decided to break my dream down. It began to make som much sense. So to save you the time I ran myself through… I thought I would share the steps that I (eventually) run myself through that REALLY always helps me understand its meaning.

To really figure out your dream try following these simple steps:

  1. To start…write it out. Jot down as much detail as you can.
  2. Now begin to disect it if you remember enough of it, in halve, thirds fourths…what ever you need based on its legnth.
  3. Ask yourself how you felt about an event, or encounter.
  4. What reaction does it invoke with in you?
  5. Does it prompt you to think of something else in your life unrelated to the dream?
  6. Who or what does it remind you of.
  7. If none of these help… try explaining your dream out loud to someone (who will listen) and explain it to them as if they were an alien from another planet and you had to really explain in detatil the simplist things in the dream. This will sometimes help to break down the drama or wow factor of the dream and help you see it from a very basic perspective.
  8. Then as I did…you can look it up on the internet and see what you find (you would be amazed at what is out there) the thing is with the internet…like I said earlier. Your dreams are just that…yours. Your symbolism is not going to be the same and mine or your neighbors or even your best friends. We are all unique in that we carry attachments to many things in many different ways.

The big message here is our dreams carry custamized messages big, small and everything inbetween for us to learn from or be reminded of. Even when they seem to make no sense at all there is something to it. It is not just the stuff you ate before bed! Learning how to decode your own symbolism is the best way to figure out your message.

So tap in… keep a dream log. Listen and see what you learn. Just maybe you will be awaken to the you, you left behind. The person that you have been trying to make fit in.

When you close your eyes tonight… ask for a message, an answer… see what you get. Remember, it takes practice for some to get back in touch with our subconscious…

After looking within…then what? What do we do with what we see?


Hopefully, if anything this week you were prompted to really sit with yourself and examine the inner you.

Coming up with what makes you happy is not an easy task. Some of you may be thinking its nearly impossible. And this nonsense of talking to our 11 year old self…really? If you found this next to impossible, well your not alone. We often lose sight of who we were and who we once thought we would grow up to be. This is a natural transition to adulthood. We could never expect to stay the same. Who would want to really? We learn things and we grow. As we grow, we become exposed to different people and experiences that change our perspective and open our hearts and minds to new ideas and experiences. Our dreams and goals change. What once made us happy, may not now. This is called life, change and growth.

For many of us talking (or even remembering) our eleven year old selves made us realize how different we have become. Some of us much happier and some maybe not. I think the one thing we can all agree upon is our past is what has molded us (in so many different ways) to who we are today. This assignment was to help us get out of the box we have been living in. So many times the responsibilities in our lives build these walls of intensity around around us it is hard to see through or past what else makes us who we are. We forget the simple things that can make us happy or even just give us joy.

The assignment/challenge is not over. I would like to propose one of two things. For those of you that maybe looked back into a past that was not something you wanted to remember, or was not how you wished it would have been, I propose a rewrite. Yep, you heard me.

What would you change? How different would you be today? What would you wish more of? Why can’t you re-write it?

If your journey brought you back to a time of a carefree happy time that you may have long forgotten about…imagine that in your life today. How could you recreate it into your current life? It doesn’t have to make sense. Write about how it made you feel.

Sometimes an example helps. Here is one…let’s say you loved to dance. When you danced how did you feel? What is the first emotion that pops into your mind? What does that emotion mean to you? How can you develop more of that emotion into your life today? What in your life today closely resembles that feeling from your past, and how can you embrace more of it.

Overall what I wanted to do was get you to look within and remember your happiness, your possibility. I understand that just because something made you happy when you were young does not mean it will still make you happy now. That wasn’t the point of this. The point was to remember what it felt to be happy. To try and recall that emotion. Remembering how it felt to enjoy something on your own. By keeping in touch with what makes us laugh, smile,helps us remember that we, are important. Our feelings matter and need to be cared for. Reciprocation is needed for healthy giving.

So many of us are fixers, givers, caretakers and pleasers. If you give…give…give… And never allow yourself or remember to receive…your giving ends up being layered in resentment. So…when that voice in your head starts to tell you, that you are being selfish….ignore it. By ignoring it you allow yourself to be valued.

Imagine a pitcher of water. You fill glass after glass with water from that pitcher. Eventually you run out of water. How do you continue to give water from an empty pitcher? You can’t. It’s empty. Do not allow yourself to become empty, or once you are empty, to remain empty. You’re a better you when you’re not depleted.

Love & happiness


Are we alone in our thoughts?

Photo taken at a herb garden in a little Oregon town.


My daughter text me something  last week that is still bouncing around in my head.

“I sometimes forget that other people have things going on in their own life. That they don’t only exist in that paticular moment of contact, in my life, for me. That when I am not around their lives continues on”.  EM

I couldn’t help but just freeze in that moment and be transported back in time. To my childhood.  It was shortly after my parents divorce and my Grandfathers death.  I recalled being in the back seat of my Moms Malibu, we were driving somewhere, and I was watching the landscap pass as we drove. I would see cars passing by and get a glimps of the people in the car, sometimes I would meet eyes with one of the passengers and smile.  While sitting at a stoplight I remember watching the people in the car next to me… imagining what was transpiring in their conversation and in their lives.  Who were they, did they really exsist?  Were they only there at that moment in time for me?  To distract me, my thoughts?  Did anyone exsist after my encounter with them was finished?  If I could no longer see them, were they real? 

I started to think about this alot.  From that moment on I really wondered how this life of mine would play out.  Were all the people in my life, just playing a roll?  It started to make sense.  It would also begin to explain why I felt so different, do detached from everything and everyone. 

Jumping back to the now… I suddenly was thinking, what are the odds that my daughter would have some of the same thoughts?  I have asked others if they have pondered this (and I know there are others out there)…but those that I have asked in my life, all have responded with a “no”.  I have then gone on to ask if they have known of anyone that has told them they felt this way at one time.  They have chuckled and said “no, just … you and now your daughter”.    I refuse to think or  believe this is that unique!

Now, for me these thoughts did not stop there… they continued and progressed into a different thought.  I started to realize I was different, and that I needed to keep my differentness hidden.  I started to think that the people in my family were all monsters.  That when I would go to sleep, they would contemplate ways to get rid of me.  I would imagine that if they got angry enough with me, they would get rid of my and would plot my demise.  I know this is a rather shocking statement… Honestly, at 45 I have only spoken of this childhood fear a handful of times.  Whenever I did it was always in a joking way.  But it haunted me.  Looking back I think it had a lot to do with my souls adjustment.  You see, I always knew too much, things that didnt make sense to know.  At first I didn’t know any different, and the knowing was just knowing.  It made sense.  I could sense emotions, feel them.  I knew I was bigger, older than my age. However; it started confusing others.  My stories and tales were just fabrications of a little strange girl.  I feel I lived in two worlds, the one in my head and the one I learned to project to the world around me.  I am sure my images of Monsters plotting my demise also had a lot to do with a child learning to dealing with loss, my parents divorce and the loss of my Grandfather (a man I was deeply attached to).  Eventually these images were pushed aside, contemplated again only when sitting with friends discussing the purpose of life.

As I pushed the images of Monsters and the world revolving literally around and for only me deep down into my subconsious, I also pushed my secrets away.  The talking to the trees, and the communication with animals, I slowly started to shut them off. 

I think that when you grow up realizing that your different and long to just fit in… you end up creating masks for yourself.  Masks that allow you to be whatever the people in your life want you to be.  You become to some extent a pleaser, never wanting to rock the boat, at least not too hard…  

Interesting how, that one text would bring up all these memories. Awakening oneself to the rediscovery of self. 
My goal now is to make sure that my daughter never forgets herself.  To teach her and enable her to retain the gifts she has, the knowing, the animal connection, her empathy.  To teach her to embrace her uniquness. 

Now is the time for us all to accept who were are, where we are on our paths.  Embrace the life you live.  Imagine the beauty of collective acceptance.  Letting light flow into the shadows of doubt and misgivings that fear creates.  My heart begings to overflow with love and peace at knowing that right…now… is really just the beginning!


The Seeds of Intention


I took an amazing walk this afternoon. I am so lucky to have a path along a ditch (right by my home) that take you to a reservoir. Sadly I have not been on this path all year. Funny how we can take the things that are the closest to us for granted.

I suppose that goes for many things in our lives. We always seem to think that things and people will always be there. There is always a tomorrow. Sometimes however, tomorrow never comes. Shouldn’t we actually live each day, instead of spending so much of our life and time pushing it away?

I think now is the perfect time to take a look at how we can better live our days. October seems to be a good month for harvesting our thoughts, and identifying our intentions.

Many may need to start at the beginning

  1. Sit and take a look at what you want your lives to look like.
  2. What do you want in it.
  3. What do you want more or less of?
  4. Evaluate your priorities.
  5. Write them out (this helps in recommitting to them).

Contrary to what many of us may believe the list is the actual hard part. The doing is the easy.

To put your list into motion all you need to do is set your intentions. How do you set your intentions? That is what the list is. Everything you laid out as a want more of, need less of. Those, are intentions.

Now set them free. Release them to the wind, let spirit take them and nestle them into fruition.

The key is setting the intention, and then releasing them to a higher power. Let spirit receive the intentions and guide you along the way. Now I said this was the easy part right? And it truly is, for many of us figuring out what we want is the hard part. But when I say easy, I don’t mean as in a magic genie will appear and grant all your wishes true. You actually have to do the work.

But if it’s what you want more of, and or less of, is it really work? Part of seeding the intention is setting it within yourself as well. The biggest lesson on earth is actually being willing to do the work. That doesn’t mean it will require blood, sweat, tears, or frustration. It does mean you have to be an active participant in your own life.

Don’t think you are alone.
Open your heart up to receiving guidance.
Your Angels and guides are always standing by. Waiting for you to hear them, see the signs they have left you and notice the clues they put along your path. They want to help, you just have to ask, and be open to receiving their help.

Imagine taking those intentions, and blowing them deeply into the wind, letting them float along the waves of spirit and the flutter in the breeze of tomorrow.

Take a deep breath in and as the air comes in…smile. Hold for a count of seven and release, and as the air leaves… So do all your doubts however; your smile remains.

Have a wonderful week.




A quick poem…enjoy


Beauty, dreams and desire.
Timing is what we think is right.
Now it is time to look within,and win the fight.

What inspires you?
What is it inside that…just…feels right.
Breath in, feel it grow.
What is inside your heart? Do you know?

Darkness, the sky is aglow.
The water trickles and the stars begin to light.
Crickets chirp, the lone bird calls, a car buzzes by somewhere in the night.

Listen, deeply. What do you hear. Can you hear your calling, are you near?

Nighttime has begun to call.
Stillness is upon us.
Darkness encompasses all.

Once it was frightening, full of the unknown, now it comes as comfort, a blanket of hope and protection. Ushering in our dreams…and preparing us for slumber.

Good night

Personal time capsule


I was digging around today. I found a box with notes and mementos that I have saved since I was in junior high. Ok…we are talking about as far back as the 70’s! Yes, I realize for many of you reading this…that makes me…OLD! It was long before cell phones…texting…IM-ing twitter…Facebook…and sexting!! Ha!

I found notes! It’s crazy how much time we spent writing these and passing them back and forth. These notes…were snippits in time. And for some reason they were important enough to earn them a place in this box. My own personal time capsule.

I feel as though I was given a chance to get a glimpse of who I was, and really who I wanted to be. I found pictures, and cards even plays that I had written as well as some poems.

I think I am being asked to look within. To take a walk down memory lane and remember who i had been. I believe my message for the week is to remember the girl I was, remember who I wanted to be. Meditate on that person, check in. It was good to know that I have always been a romantic, an idealist. I have always been someone that believed in the heart. I knew things, I felt things, the anguish has always been there . I was reminded today that I have always been slightly tormented. It has always been a part of who I am. I am a hopeless romantic going through life being led by my heart.

This week I suggest that you try and remember that inner child. Seek them out. Try to remember what they were all about. They may carry a piece of you, you have forgotten. A piece that now needs to be brought out.

Remember to laugh. Remember to think lightly and live brightly. Remember to give yourself the benefit of a doubt and most importantly be playful and carry your power through your heart.

Before I say goodbye..here is a little poem I would like to share:

Written in the early 80s by a much younger me..
It is nice to know that I will always be the forever romantic. I hope you enjoy.

We search and search
For the one perfect one
Although we are still
very young.

We hold an image
Of one so great.
We feel as though we do nothing but wait.

The wait goes on so long
For nothing seems to compare
To the man in our dream who seems to await us there.

Lonely you feel
Afraid of never finding the one of your dreams
We become desperate
and go to all means.

We look so hard
So deep
We tend to pass, the one
We should meet.

Take heed
To the words I must give
Stop looking so hard
And you will find

Have a playful week.


Power begins on the inside


So is it coincidental that on the last night of July a Lion makes a showing in my dream? At first I thought it was really odd but it actually ended up making perfect sense.

In my dream I was standing in my garage looking out at my driveway. People were around, my kids and their friends. Many that I did not know. But we suddenly notice a large male lion walking towards our driveway. Common sense prompted us to close the garage door. Once we did we all stood and peered out the windows on the door (in reality my garage doors do not have windows). I recall being calm, methodical actually, as I watched this lion walk up and over my husbands truck. He just stopped and looked at me. We just looked at each other. I seemed a little bored, I was done watching him. I turned and realized the back door of my garage was open. I walked over to shut it and decided to step outside and look around. Once on my patio I looked up towards the sky, the sun was starting to set upon the mountains, but what else caught my eye was a giraffe. He stood there nibbling on my Aspen trees.
Even this didn’t seem odd to me. But in recalling this dream what does feel strange and slightly eery is that the whole dream was silent.

I was really confused and excited when I woke up. I don’t usually dream of animals, let alone a lion and giraffe. I was very cowries as to what message I was being prompted to decipher. Resisting the urge to jump up and log into my favorite symbol site “What’s your sign” what’s your sign I sat and thought about what these animals mean to me.
The lion, is regal and full of strength and power with a sprinkling of intimidation and admiration. With the lion their presence is sometimes all that is needed to reclaim their power. They often times instill fear in others with their presence alone.

The giraffe speaks to me of communication. Having the ability to see what is on the horizon. They look at things from a higher perspective. They are appear methodical, gentle and quiet.

Both these fit with what I feel in my life right now. After I processed the dream, I realized that my message was about reclaiming my power, yet remembering to do it in a calm gentle manor. That I need not open my mouth to roar but understand that wherever I chose to give myself away it was time to claim it back. I need to look at the problems and issues from a higher perspective to see the direction that I am going. Kneed to trust in the process and know I am headed in the right direction. UCA not rush the process, I need to take the time to digest what I am absorbing…intaking…learning. Only then will the we speak our true voice.

There was no fear in the dream for the same reason there was no sound…this is an internal process. The work is internal. Once completed the external will benefit. But to succeed in what I am working on or what I am struggling with I must first go with in and evaluate where I gave myself and in turn…my power away.

To further validate my message I received my monthly email from The Power Path to read that the month of August is about Power. The Power Path

One thing I was reminded in my dream about power is that power does not have to be forced, or aggressive, what benefits us now is a silent power. One that you obtain from within. It is not about forcing your message on others or ramming your beliefs down someone’s throat. It is about believing I. Your self and holding your space, think of the beautiful lion.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. And as always…remember to keep your eyes and your mind open for your personal signs.