Have you ever stopped to wonder what you would have been like had you had the opportunity to meet yourself as a child?
I realize this is a really odd question. It is so interesting to peek into our childhood, years later. You see I happened upon some old journals of mine. I obviously fell in love with writing even as a young adolescent. I was eleven years old when my mother gave me my first journal, it was a Christmas gift. It was inscribed inside with the date December 1978. Little did I know then that I would develop such a personal relationship and passion with writing. One would think my grammar and spelling would be impeccable by now (unfortunately it is not). I obviously fell in love with the outlet not the specifics. I have always been passionate about the journey the experience and not necessarily the actual structure and schematics of writing, or anything else for that matter.
It is a funny thing, reading things your eleven old self felt was relevent enough to write about. I, it seemed worried a lot about boys! Ha! But seriously boys, family and love. I was always “in love” graved it you could say. Desired it. Needed it. Felt it so strongly. Knowing the person I am today, when I first read some this journal, I was taken a back a bit.
I have written about it before and spent a great deal of time working on it (my heart Chakra). I have sometimes wondered in the past, if I truly knew/know the feeling of love. Don’t get me wrong. I have a beautiful family that I love dearly. But when I have tried to really dissect this feeling called love I have always felt it eluded me. I always have felt that I have been guarded and not allowed myself to feel completely and when I have… whatch out, the emotion overwhelms me. I let very few people in to that sacred space called my heart, and when I do let you in, you are there forever. However… now that I have stepped back into time a bit I have a different perspective on my relationship with love.
After reading my journals from 6th grade to 9th (as far as I have gotten to date) I believe I was born with an overwhelming abundance of love in my heart. My heart Chakra must have been wide open. I loved everything and everyone. Saw the good in people even when they mistreated me and my feelings. I look at some of my words and realize how confused and tormented I was when their behavior did not match my expectations. This purity, this outlook, starts large in all of us. I believe the key is learning how to balance this chakra. I believe that if we continue to hold it wide open we potentially damage the innocence that we hold here causing a knee jerk reaction of closing this chakra completely off.
I think this is something that we see in society today. Many people out there that have closed themselves off due to experiences to the heart chakra which have damaged that part of them (at a young age) they so easily gave.
How or better yet, can we fix this? Is it too late?
By learning to run our energy and understand the effect it has on us as well as others. Yes, we can fix this.
I do not believe it is too late. It just takes the desire to do the work.
The very first step is understanding your energetic field and learning about your ability to hold boundaries. This is KEY. By the way….THIS is what we should be teaching our young! Everyone should be learning at a very young age the importance of personal boundaries . It should be taught in preschool, prior to entering the world unprotected and vulnerable. A bit dramatic??? Not really. I once read somewhere (when my children were very young) that you should not take a newborn out for at least 30 days. Because there aura’s was still developing and they were susceptible to negative energies. I am sure I got some of the specifics wrong, but I think I made the general point and I truly believe there is some truth to this!
This is now, my passion. My desire to share with everyone I can the importance of boundaries and introspection. Learning the power of self-reflection and introspection, knowing when what you are feeling is yours and what is someone elses. Not letting the cutting words or callousness of others force you to shut down your heart chakra.
How does this fit in with my last blog? What is your next step to practice? Hopefully you were able to come up with something that you believe makes you happy (give you joy). Don’t be discouraged if you were not able to figure something out yet… or if you were only able to come up with one or two things. This is a hard task! Over the course of the next few days I want you to practice running your energy. If you need a guid check out a previous blog of mine Steps to grounding
After you have ran your energy, think about what you would say…. to your eleven year old… self.
Would you give your self words of wisdom? A warning? Would you encourage yourself. what would you say? This task will take some time. Use the next few days to try to remember that part of you that time has separated us from. Add your message to the list of things that give you joy. Don’t limit yourself, if you have more than one message to your self write it down.
Step three will be towards the end of the week or the beginning of next week. I think we all need some time to process these. Eventually we will but these steps together for a final process.