A Clairvoyant Living Series Video 4- Enlightenment

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Acceptance is key…

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I spent the weekend pondering on what topic to write about. I kept picking up my computer and then just putting it down. I ask for guidance and the word that kept popping up in my head was “Acceptance”.
Michelle and I filmed Video 4 in our Clairvoyant Living Series this weekend (watch for the post) and while we were preparing to film, we started talking and lo and behold the discussion of acceptance came up, there too.

Now acceptance is a really big word. When you hear the word what do you think of?

Do you think of accepting others, acceptance of gifts, compliments and possibly acceptance of another’s point of view. How many think of you think of it, in relation to ones self???

Let me start at the beginning…
For many of us our collective purpose is that of growth and healing. We seek guidance and advice, spend much of our life contemplating what we learn and reveal about ourselves. All this in the search for enlightenment. We see our faults and set out to change or correct them. We become focused on becoming a “better” person. We embark on a journey of change and dissection.

We dissect our personalities, categorizing our faults and our attributes into sections to be evaluated. Many times we will see areas that need to be enhances, supported or tamed down. Sometimes we even find things we don’t want to find. These things, these character flaws or errors of omissions we try to look over and not shed any real light on, are there. We think we should fix them…find out why we do what we do, why they are there. We try to unearth the wrong in our life that created this bleep in our path. We struggle with the dark that we find and try to overcompensate with extra good.

All this is part of the process that each one us encounter along our path of personal growth…or personal enlightenment. Many will spend their entire life trying to correct or fix things that they uncover that they feel do not meet the criteria of being the person they think they should be.

So…acceptance…where am I going with this? There comes a point in all of our lives that we need to stop what we are doing and accept who we are. All of who we are. Accept the beauty that is you.
Acceptance does not mean we are no longer working on improvement… rather it allows us the permission to be who we are. When we can love the person we are today in this very moment, this moment is the moment that true change and growth can actual begin to happen. Accepting ourselves our beauty, our faults, this is the biggest step forward we can ever take.

When we stop comparing ourselves to someone else or some other ideal and accept who we are and where we have been, then we can really look at the things we have not liked to look at. Look at them with a clearer view of what those attributes and traits were put into place for. Were they for survival? Wer they for defense, was put into place to prevent us from making a mistake we made once before in our past (current or past life)? We cannot change what was or has already been done…we can however look at the situation or experiences for what they were, the purpose… and know that this trait or attribute no longer serves us. We can then accept the past for what it was… knowing full well that it has helped to create the person you are today. Move forward with love and acceptance of yourself, this will enable you to let go of that which no longer fits your plan or your path. Sometimes experience is the best lesson in life…we learn from that which we personally experience and walk through. The key is knowing when and what you can let go of and leave behind you going forward.

Acceptance…is the key to love…unconditional love. To have it and to give it you must take the first step in accepting yourself.

Happy Monday.

Namaste~

Sometimes things are not quite what they seem.

It's Spring...Right?

It’s Spring…Right?

Lately, I have been pretty busy and excited keeping current on Facebook, LinkedIn, my blog, creating web videos and developing my new website! Not to mention taking care of my husband and daughter while they recuperate from some recent surgeries. I think sometimes I take the phrase go big or go home a little too seriously! HA! Never one to do one thing at a time…nope, not I, ANY way…

On top of all that I decided to really put myself out there and start advertising the readings I offer. I created a simple little ad and started running a campaign on Facebook.

I have been happy with the results and have really looked forward to the responses I have got. So, you may be wondering what is this blog about? No…it’s not a blog ad about the readings I offer.

You could say it’s about ethics, opposition, rejection, conflict and confrontation.

You see, I received a Facebook email the other day (which I thought was going to be a request for a reading) that put some things into perspective for me. It basically ended up being a hate email. Someone lashed out at me (let me clarify that this someone does not know me, or ever had any interaction with me). This person made allegation towards me after only…seeing my ad.

He started out by asking me to remove the photo I posted. This is the actual ad I ran. 602200_171620846325281_298425903_n

He told me “something about this photo bothers me. Could you please remove it”.

I was confused and quite frankly a tad taken back. I responded politely and told him it was my daughters eye, I found it quite beautiful and I was very sorry it bothered him. I told him my ad would be done by the end of the month and he should never have to see it again.

He responded with another email. This was the one that hurt. Basically, this is what he said to me:

Your picture isn’t what is disturbing, the fact that you take money from distressed people claiming to be a “clairvoyant” is what is pathetic. If I see your ad again, you’ll be reported to Facebook for violation of their TOS.

Honestly…I was instantaneously hurt…and angry… embarrassed, and then… finally, I felt bad for him. This is one of those events that I think many Clairvoyants, Psychics and Mediums fear. Ridicule and humiliation.
For me personally, what he claimed I was, went against everything I believe and personally feel I represent. My main focus is on educating others and teaching them to understand what it means to be and live a clairvoyant life. I try to demystify what is stereotypically seen as someone who is a Clairvoyant, Psychic or a Medium.

It has taken me a long time to (as I have joked) come out of the clairvoyant closet, and honestly a year ago, had this have happened, I would have ran back in and locked the proverbial clairvoyant closet door. I would have then lashed out at him or hid.

But…what I eventually realized (after really processing the email) was that this was not just an anti clairvoyant email, it was a personal test. I believe in what I do and what I try to teach others. I have realized that when someone criticizes us many times we will become defensive and aggressive. This reaction often happens because the criticism we have received is a personal criticism that we carry ourselves. It is that feeling of doubt that lurks in our subconscious telling us that we are not what we say we are. I realized within minutes…no…moments of reading that email I have no longer have those doubts! I passed the test. I also realized this would not be the first naysayer, and I am ok with that.

After I ran through all my personal emotions from the attack, I felt bad for this man. Obviously he personally (or maybe someone close to him) has had a negative experience with a Clairvoyant or psychic. That or possibly he doesn’t really understand, what it is I do. I wish I could say that it was all him and his ignorance or fear…but I can’t.

What I would like to discuss is the importance of Ethic’s. Like any profession, we (clairvoyants, Psychic’s and Mediums) should be working from a code of ethics. Unfortunately, there are many Clairvoyants ,psychic’s and Mediums out there that may not truly have your best interest at heart, just like there are many people in general (out there in the big world) that do not have your best interest at heart. To me a good Clairvoyant, Psychic or Medium does, it is the nature of the job! Some that are unethical are not reading from the highest of vibrations. You need to remember to always go with your gut…your intuition. If something doesn’t make sense or sound right to you, leave.

This brings me to the discussion of learning or “dabbling” in many areas of spirit without knowing what you are really doing. I don’t mean to say you have to understand it all and have it all figured out…on the contrary! It is meant to be a learning experience. The point I am trying to make is that…YOU hold the key. You can ask someone to tell you what they see, but ultimately you have control, or at least you should. True healing and growths comes with accountability, we are all personally accountable of our actions.

As you begin to look within you start a process, a process of self-reflection, growth and knowledge. You begin the path of taking ownership of where you are and where you are going. We should never rely solely on someone else’s information. Their purpose (my) purpose is to help show what you already know on another level. To help you become aware of the messages you are receiving and to let you know that you are not alone. My job is to help thin the veil between the earth and spirit, that years of programming and conditioning has put into place. Help you in awakening your spirit and the messages from your higher self.

When any of us start learning and opening our minds the next crucial step is looking within, and understanding ourselves (or at least how the information we receive affects us) before we start going out and advising others. I don’t mean we have to have ourselves all figured out, what I do mean is that we must understand how symbolism works for us…what to look at, why we may see things that we see. The most important thing to learn is…we all can see. What we need to understand however; is what you see today could change by tomorrow. We are a constant work in progress and what is right today could be left tomorrow…things change, we change. The destination of our path may stay the same, but how we get there will change many times along the way.

Back to ethics… When we don’t have an understanding, or maybe we do have an understanding and choose to use what we have developed for our gain and not for the purpose of helping someone else see the answers for themselves…you have someone who is operating from ego and a lower vibration for financial gain alone. It’s frustrating. Frustrating for the majority of us out there that are operating from our hearts.

I am not mad at this man…
I am actually thankful. So often we get comfortable in our environments, we surround ourselves with like-minded people to point of forgetting the majority.

He brings to the surface the amount of work that still needs to be done. His words remind me that my focus needs to be on educating the masses and raising the vibration of the collective. On a personal note he has highlighted within me my own personal growth and the belief I have in myself that I have cultivated over the last few years, for this I thank him. I wish him and others like him, nothing but the best.

Lead with your heart, let love and light dictate what you give to others as well as yourself.

Namaste~

Very Inspiring BLOGGER Award!

very-inspiring-blogger-award
 
I have  been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award,  by The Seven Minds. 
Please take a moment and check out their blog, I am sure you will find it very interesting!
 
I am very honored and thankful to have received this award. The thing I love most about blogging is being able to share my thoughts with so many other people.  When I write, I write from my heart and can only hope that I inspire in some way others to look within themselves and feel comfortable letting their true self shine.  I think a true sense of strength is obtained  just in knowing that we are all different and unique but at the same time….the same.  Together we share many of the same hopes, dreams and fears.  My blog is about the journey, a journey we are all on.  Here I share my thoughts and my opinions and my views along the way in hopes of letting others know that they are not alone.
 
This award comes with some rules that I am requested to follow, here they are:
 
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

7 things about me:

  1. I love photography all forms of it!!  Abstract to portraits and everything in between.
  2. I love doing readings for others, I find my greatest joy in helping other people find their own true self and power.
  3. I am inspired by nature, all forms of it.
  4. I have a 40+ hour job in the corporate world, that challenge me as well as helps me put my practice to a practical everyday use. 
  5. I love speaking in public!  Give me a topic I am passionate about and off I will go.
  6. I believe that everyone should be taught how to meditate (at an early age) to help calm and understand the emotions within us all.  I believe this is the key to finding a more (if not) peaceful society, maybe a more tolerant one.
  7. I believe we are all here to find our way, each of us with our own path and our own obstacles. 

My next 15 nominees:

  1. It Started with a Quote
  2. If You could see what I hear
  3. Whispers of the heart
  4. Star Codes
  5. Amy Keast
  6. Metaphyzgirl
  7. Searching for happiness
  8. Karen Kubicko
  9. A window of wisdom
  10. The Phoblography
  11. Julie Hansen Intuitive
  12. Canadian Hiking
  13. Amie Wright
  14. Ellyn Barker
  15. Misifusa’s Blog

Judgement- who really wants to be seen as judgemental?

Michelangelo - Fresco of the Last Judgement

Michelangelo – Fresco of the Last Judgement

How many of you feel that this word should be bolded and in all caps!? JUDGEMENT….

How do you define JUDGMENT Here is Merriam Websters attempt.

1) a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
b : an opinion so pronounced
2) a : a formal decision given by a court
b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court
(2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3) a: capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God
b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4) a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing
b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5) a : the capacity for judging : discernment
b
: the exercise of this capacity
6) : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

 
This is a touchy topic. No one really wants to be seen as judgemental… Unfortunately it is much more common to encounter people in your everyday life that are judging us to some extent. It seems sad to say that rarely do we come in contact with someone who is not judgemental (in some way or another).
There are so many hot buttons/topics out there that are attached to judging. I don’t want this discussion to become laden with, the legal system, schools or political views of the far left or far right way of thinking. I want to look at the human aspect of it. The personal aspect of judging. The judging of others (against your views) and the judging of self (against your views as well as the views of others).
 
This is a painful word. Why is it painful you may be asking? Is it not just a word? There are so many words that when written or spoken can stir up an enormous amount of pain. This word though…when used towards ones self can stunt growth. It can place roadblocks that need not be there. This word stems from fear.
Many times when the word is being used outwardly (internally upon other people) it happens out of fear, and jealousy. There is a root issue attached to the judgement…which inturn stems back to the judging of ones self.
 
Truthfully none of us is equip to judge someone else.
 
Let’s look inside the schools for a moment… and take a really basic example we have all had some experience with at one time or another (either as a participant or a witness) .
 
Someone within a group (of friends) judges the clothing or music or shoes of someone outside of their group, vocally in front of that person for others to hear (this is a very minor example just for discussion purposes, unfortunately situations like this are usually much worse).
 
Why do they do this? Who are they to judge someone else let alone their personal style? Their choice in music? Who are they to make them feel uncomfortable? What do they have to gain? In this scenario the actions seem pretty straight forward. Lets look at some of the obvious possibilities:
  1. They are picking on someone who appears different to make themselves feel superior.
  2. They wish they had the strength to be their own person.
  3. Their personal anger towards themselves for not having the courage to stand out pushes them to act out, the scenario they fear they would encounter.
  4. They do not feel free to express themselves and be their true self (so why should someone else)
  5. pick on… so you’re not picked on.

I think you get my point in regards to outward judgement.  It is usually an act of fear and jealousy (in an odd way). 

Let’s turn the table around and look at judgement from the dreaded, ever imposing, internal perspective.

JUDGEMENT…The hardest thing we are on ourselves!!  This is the word. the action. the thing that stops us the most besides fear (since they are so very related).

So many of us spend our lives judging ourselves.  Attempting to live by standards that were most likely set into motion by someone other than ourselves.  Ideals placed in our field by our parents and society.  I mean it really is the job of our parents, caregivers to help mold us into the people we are today.  We learn to live by the values of our loved ones.  I am not saying any of that is wrong!!!  Not at all!  Especially since the alternative would be solitude growing up, where we would never be able to choose a side or know right from wrong. 

What I am trying to do here is make you think about your values for a moment. 
Are they truly yours?  Do you believe them?  Do they feel in alignment with your current path…  How does it resonate within your current belief system?   

These are some short sentences that hold some pretty big questions.   I would suggest writing out your ideals, your values, basically the things that instantly come to your mind, that represent a good life, good person. 

Now…put a check mark next to the ones you would expect your friends to live up to.
Next, put a check mark next to the ones that you expect yourself to live up to.  

Now… look at this list. Does it seem complete… all the check marks where they need to be?  You may be thinking… where are you going with this?  Well, if you have two check marks next to each item on your list this is great.  Possibly you are in alignment.  Why do I say possibly???  Because we have a few of these lists… and the expectations with the items on the lists seem to change.   But it is a great check point to become more aware of your ideals, your values. 

The next thing to think about is what holds you back from doing something that does not affect your value system. 
let me give you some examples….

I would like to quit my job.  I don’t , because I am afraid that it would make me a quitter, a failure. 
NOW , If my friend were to say to me.  I really want to quit my job and do (blank).  I would counsel her to do what makes her happy.  That she would not be a quitter by moving in the direction her heart was pointing her.  I would ask her why she would consider herself a failure?  I would empower her to be who she was ment to be. 

I have decided to hold myself to a standard that I do not hold my friends at…why?  Why would we judge ourselves in a way we would never judge someone else? 

Here is another example:

I do not like to cry.  I hold my tears in.  When I start to cry, I get angry at myself and feel like I am weak.  I tell myself nothing good comes from crying.  Weak…weak… overly emotional…woman.  Float in head.  LOL!  Granted I know this is an issue and topic all on its own, but I digress… back to the example.  NOW, the scenario changes and a good friend comes to me with an issue.  They are crying…and they start to apologize for crying.  I stop them and tell them not to apologize.  They need to cry, release it. Feel it.  Let it out.  They say, I feel like such a baby though… I tell them that they are anything but.  All the while in my heart I feel so much love and compassion for this person.  I do not feel judgement… I do not look at them as weak…or overly emotional or as being “female”…NOT AT ALL.  Why is it easier to be accepting of this behavior with someone else but not in myself/ourself? 

Now these were just personal examples to try to make my point.  Each of us have different situations that they can possibly relate to.  Just as we each have different standards to which we attempt to live our lives.  Are these standards on your list?  Are these standards yours or expectations others placed upon you?  In the two situations above I have personally asked myself… do you think you are better than them? My answer is always no…I dont.  I just expect more from myself. 

I think part of it is judgement…and part of it is really knowing what we are personally capable of… we forget to be forgiving to ourselves.  We forget to hold our self in a compassionate stance.  

I know this became a truly long blog post… I am sorry.  I could go on…and on…and on, however… It all goes back to what I have been talking about in my last series of posts… We need to look within, learn who we are. 

Remember when doing any self work… we need to hold our space with  neutrality and amusement.  
Release expectations and let things flow.  The best advice I can give you is to give yourselves the advice, and understanding that we would give our dearest friend…our children. 

Love and light~
Namaste

Are you in control of your emotions… or are your emotions in control of you?

Image from Visual Paradox

Image from Visual Paradox

Thump…thump…thump…thump…

I hear it…do you?
The pumping…thumping…pounding
beating rhythm of a heart…my heart.

Edgar Allen Poe is running through my thoughts right now…
He was always a favorite poet and story-teller of mine, when I was younger.  He seemed to be able to describe in such great detail the depth of pain a heart could cause or hold. 

Think about it…an organ, a magnificent body organ that works in harmony with our brain to keep us alive.
That is all it is right…an organ.
But is it? I am afraid not. Even though it is an organ, this beautiful construction has the capacity to make us feel,and hold emotions.  Some that are in the moment and many that no longer serve us.

Even a simple rhythm in a song can trigger and  recreates an emotional reaction…
a longing in the heart.  Just as the tempo shifts our thoughts and feelings begin to change as well.  We react  like the strings attached to a marionette. 

Are you in control of your emotions…or are your emotions in control of you?

What emotion do you lead with? In your daily life…your exchanges, are you leading with your heart?  What does this mean to you? Are you able to tell the difference between the two? Can you tell if you are leading or being lead? Do you see the potential difference?

I have fond myself at times in a an emotional circle… Where I have experienced something that left a very strong emotional reaction/impact on my heart… Instead of working through it and looking for the lesson…breaking down the experience, and removing judgment of self and others…I wallow. 

Let me say for a minute here that there is a great difference between , feeling an emotion, letting it run its course and wallowing. It is really important to feel the emotion and move through it. Coming out on the other side is important. If you don’t process it…it can become you. 

Leading with emotion is not always bad…as with pretty much anything I write about it is about balance.  I find it hard to fixate on a black and white type of answer or society.  everything happens for a reason and everything that needs to happen will.  It is how we come at things… what emotion or stance we hold going into a situation can give it a completely different outcome.  It all goes back to the fact that we have choices and lessons in this life time… how we get to our destination is determined by us.  Some choices and lessons will take faster than others and some will move slower.  How you get there is up to you.  We need to learn to look within ourselves and see what our motivation or agenda is at any given time. 

Some will say that they do not live from agenda and that they have reached the highest of vibrations… Great… I don’t necessarily believe that this happens very often.  This physical life of ours is full of twists and turns.  We live equally in ego and spirit… to do this we encounter the effects of both.  All I want for all of us is to open our minds and our hearts to our intentions.  Understand ourselves and why we chose left and not right.  Learn from our choices and our reactions.  Don’t just be a game piece in your life, live it, be an active participant of the internal life as well as your external. 

It is possible to coast through and let ourselves be led through the experiences in our current life time…but why?  Why wouldn’t we want to be an active participant in our choices?  Relish in the beauty of it, the joy…sure there is pain as well…but through the pain we always have the potential for growth.  Expansion…in awareness of who we are and who we were meant to be. 

So as we embark on this confusing spring season (yes confusing)  engage your heart and chose neutrality in most all your outward interactions.   Why do I say confusing?  I seem to be getting the message that each season this year holds a year of seasons within it.  Each primary season magnified by its matching season within it, but also having traits and mirroring all the other seasons as well.    2013 is proving to be very unique, fast and exciting all at the same time.  Again I compare it to a time warp… a worm hole in the universe, providing an express lane to the next lesson. 

The biggest reminder is to live from your heart, that incrediable organ holds the key to your continued growth.  This chakra has been preparing for a very long time to help take on the power needed to infuse the rest of your energy centers.  All you need to do is open it up, air it out, let the blood pump through and trust that this is the new direction for all. 

Hold on and enjoy the ride.  Happy spring.

Namaste~

Clairvoyant Living the online series part 1

Here is the first video in our new series… On line classes are coming soon!!!  Please check it out and let me know what you think!!!  Would love your feedback. 

Time to learn to swim with the current, not against it…

Pisces Spiral GalaxyI think what I am learning that right now…is we need to really dig into the old wounds. Peel back the scab that avoidance has formed and really dig at the root of the issue.

Just the thought of it is painful, uncomfortable and downright unpleasant.  Yes…I know it’s a disgusting image.  This imagery is in place to keep us away.  We want to avoid and that avoidance lets the scab form. Contrary to what we have been told about picking scabs…in this instance picking at the scab will not leave a scare.  Quite the opposite. Finding the cause will remove the cover up as well as the potential scare tissue and help us move forward.

I feel pretty confident that now is the time to move forward. Unearthing the issue we have avoided or let “scab” over will help us to see clearer the direction we are meant to go….the direction however that we go in will not be as easy as it could be when we carry our untreated wounds.  Doing this will feel like you are going up hill instead of traveling forward on a level plain. Why is it important? Just think of all the energy we will or would have if we didn’t need to carry all the scars with us. We would be able to focus and manifest that much the clearer and faster.

In the spirit of the Pisces new moon,  lets swim with the current not against it right now. If you feel like it is nothing but currents and you’re not getting where you are want to be…maybe you are dragging too much with you.  Are you even aware of what you are holding on to?  Are you holding on out of habit? Does it serve you or even matter anymore?

Much of the internal resistance we are feeling right now is in conjunction with mercury being in retrograde…it seems to be having more of an internal effect on us this time, instead as much externally.   As we near the 17th of March,  the fog will start to clear…things will begin to make more sense again.  Now is the perfect time to just sit with your thoughts.

Take time in the next few days to show appreciation for your perseverance. Applaud yourself for what you have accomplished…how far you have come. This has been a new time…a fast time. Energetically things are shifting quicker than ever before. In all the haste of change we need to be reminded to stop and show ourselves appreciation (no matter how small) it is VERY important. I am reminded of a song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show…Time warp…the thing is…we are all doing the time warp right now.  Everything is moving, quickly.  The saying “Thoughts become things”…takes on a new importance…as it becomes a more urgent reminder to focus on the positive.

So how are we to pick off the scabs and remain positive you ask? Remain NEUTRAL, this is the key.  Some of those old wounds have been festering for a very long time, so it’s not always easy to do this.  The energetic charge we are all carrying right now tells me that we have the power, right now, to take this stand.  It is what is necessary and all that’s standing in our way is the shadow of fear. Fear from our past attempts…and the events themselves.  Just remember that spirit does not lead us to something that it thinks we are not equip to handle.
The time  right now,  is to center ourselves and run our energy…
Pull in a a beautiful light of spirit…a white iridescent glow that is rich in love, warmth, wisdom and strength.  
Trust this light.  Let it fill you.
Fill you with the strength and courage you need to rip the “bandage” off and air out what we have kept covered. Then Breathe deeply, and with each breath know that you are not alone, you are never alone and
Release..release…and release.

Then fill in with all that you desire…no doubts how it will all be achieved… Just believe.
Trust that the picture is bigger than you could ever imagine.
Know that love is the ultimate goal.
Remove self judgement and allow things to unfold.
Step into your light body, and allow yourself to feel the warmth. Bask in it.
Breathe in the inspiration that surrounds you.

The task at hand is more about exposing the wound… Acknowledging it.  Thanking it in a sense for the lessons you have learned from it, and then letting it know that it is no longer serving you. It’s original purpose is no longer needed…the protection or reminder has been replaced with a new understanding.  An understanding of who you are and why.  Love now fills the space where the scab once was.  Love will replace the void, the regret, the pain.  If this were a card game Love would ultimately heal and trump all.  Play the love card on you self. 

The beauty of love is that once you give it, you release it…you are automatically filled with more. The more you give the more you recieve…it is endless.

Remember Love =more love….

Namaste~

Don’t look at it as forgiveness… look at it as acceptance

254509_10151117635338129_771528384_nSomeone recently asked me a question about forgiveness. To explain it, and talk about how we forgive.  It really got my mind thinking about forgiveness…what is it. Is the act of forgiveness really taking place if while the words are echoing within you, your heart is screaming to be heard?

Is forgiveness really that of a spiritual nature or the ego? Think about it…
If it is truly coming from the heart…. I think…. it can be…but then why would we be needing to forgive, wouldn’t we just be accepting? Accepting the person or the behavior.  Isn’t forgiving them just another means to state that they aren’t good enough or didn’t live up to your expectations or standards?

Granted there so many different times when forgiveness is being used so it can sometimes seem difficult to have a vague discussion about it… AND again I state that if we are truly forgiving someone for something it must be from our hearts to make it really valid.

Look at it from the side of receiving forgiveness… isn’t this too an ego booster. Doesn’t  being forgiven for whatever it is we did “wrong” make us feel better about ourselves, relieved?

Let’s look at a pretty simple generic example: If someone were to say “I am really sorry I lied, I did not mean to hurt you like this”. If the apology is sincere, heartfelt and the person is honestly regretful for the act, and you honestly believe them and forgive them, then all is good in this situation. Forgiveness makes sense. The act is still somewhat ego based though (don’t you think?) since both sides feel better because one has been forgiven (exonerated in a way) and the other has had the power to forgive.When in truth the basis for forgiveness (I think in its original form or intention) was intended to be an acceptance of what happened with an acknowledgement of each others part in the pain.

Maybe we should be looking at our intentions behind forgiveness. Are you forgiving for the power of forgiveness or are you being forgiving because of understanding the situation or the person? I think the key is removing judgement, and being true and honest when you forgive. Saying the words I forgive you or I forgive___ can be really empty. The words need to have heart and feeling behind them to mean anything. 

Overall acceptance and understanding need to have a play in forgiveness.  No one is perfect and no one should ever feel like they HAVE to forgive someone…defeats the purpose of forgiving.  We need to be in alignment with our whole self to truly forgive. 

That brings me to another point that comes up with forgiveness… With big issues in life we are often told that we will never forget, but we can forgive.  This statement is really a tough one.  I think that no one should feel that they have to forgive… I think that the word “forgive” should be replaced with “Let go”.  We may never forget, but we can let go. I like how that sounds much better.  So often  the big issues we hold on to where we are told to forgive, are the hardest ones… we hold on to them with such rigor… such hate… that forgiving is next to impossible.  What we need to do is let go of it.  Release it.  Stop allowing it to take so much of our energy.  The longer we hold on the weaker we become, our energy drains from us… because we are holding on to the issue/situation so tightly.  All of our reserves go to holding on to the anger or hatred we feel, we are so often afraid that if we forgive it makes it ok…. Many times it is was not ok.  Forgiveness in violent situations is a big thing to ask.  Shouldn’t necessarily be asked.  We should be focusing on letting it go.  This is not validating the person or experience… it is, not letting the person or experience take anymore of our time or energy.  It is freeing yourself to take care of yourself, to focus on love.  Love of self not hate and anger. 

Ultimately we create more of what we focus on, why spend time on hate and anger when you can focus on love of self (first) and others.  Love creates Love… Anger creates Anger….Hate creates Hate. 

You say you can’t find anything to focus your love on?  Start with yourself… Look deep… Look around you, at the sky… Love is all around us. 

Go create more love!

Namaste~